Why, why, why?

I guess I was hoping for a miracle, maybe it was all a bad dream or maybe death looks good after all.
I thought when I helped others it would be a blessing for someone to return my gift of love, I was wrong.
I came out because my life as Shauna hiding was tearing me apart, I sought therapy to cope with my bad dreams, with my loniliness, my being who I wanted to be.I was told that therapy was a waste of time, why do I need therapy?
Why does Shawn have to see a therapist, he has the perfect life? Why, Why, Why?
To her, I am a nobody, to the eyes of whom I thought loved me I am no more than a piece of crap. A joke is a good word to describe what I am. Here I thought maybe just maybe, someone may help me and I was terribly wrong. God I wish I never said anything to her, now I will be the joke in the family. Just think, just for a moment, I was loved like no one you have ever knew. When something was needed, I was there for her no questions asked and gave so very much of my life in helping, never asked for anything in return.
Now I am being shut out, a leaper, a joke, all because I want to be myself. I wanted to be happy, thats all I ever wanted.I seen my therapist today, I was so happy to tell her I came out to my family, I lied to myself thinking this was great, it hurts to know I was nothing to her but someone who could be counted upon when times were rough.

Hey goddamint, I am a person with emotions and I was always there for you, why can't you be there for me!!!! One time in my life I am asking for love and understanding and I got nothing, not one thing has came from telling her my story.
It isn't a phase in my life, I am not asking for attention I am asking for understanding. You see Uncle Shawn will not be attending family functions or birthdays, Shawn your stepson won't be a burden in your life and no I will not be asking for anything ever from you again!
I really did believe love from my family was strong but now I am proved wrong, thank you "mom" thank you......I guess I was living a lie!