It’s the day I have color and I am so scared

I know I shouldn't be and I will laugh later at what I am writing here, but still please follow me on this. Here I have lived 46 years as a man wanting to be a woman, not just any woman but the girl that was born to both my fantastic parents.
A big sister to my brothers and little sister, a aunt to all my nieces and nephew, a great aunt to my great nieces. I am the god father to my best friends son, will I be the god mother now?
I am so depressed, the changes are many but the person on the inside is the same. I just want what belongs to me and that is all I am asking for. Jannas and her crew ( http://www.jannasplace.com/) will change my outer appearance, for the good and teach me to be a woman which I know will take many years to complete because this isn't a crash course. Becoming a woman is more than makeup and clothes, it is a matter of walking, step by step, each step is starting over in life.

I will not be able to have slumber parties, giggling and chatting about dates and dancing or babysitting the neighbors kids.

This is birth to womanhood, everything in between and it will takes years to get it right, while still living as Shawn. Slowly emerging into the woman I am.
There is a sale on makeup at Ulta, I will run out tomorrow and buy my first little makeup mirror and a starter kit hehe. A new wardrobe, I can see me spending atleast $2000.00 to start and the shoes oh my I so look forward to feeling them under my feet...wait I am moving to fast, makeup first.
So let Janna and her ladies give Shauna her time. Do I need to drive a car, no I will keep my truck but it will be hell wearing a skirt getting in and out of hehe. No micro skirts for this lady even though I would love to see it on me. Oh to let you all know the diet is going well, I am now down 20 lbs and another 15 lbs and I will hit my goal.Well girls, I will write another blog when the makeover is completed and thank you Sally for all your words of encouragement ( I am so smooth mmm). Thank you for believing in me I will be so much beautiful as I am in color, practice, practice and practice will get me to my goal.
Ceya soon girls hehe....
Shauna