If you don't know my Gender: Just ask

After 55 years of my life a scientist has just figured out what I and most transsexuals
already knew at the age of four or five and that's what Gender we are. "“To discover
who or what a child is ... you have to ask them,” Dr. William Reiner of the Oklahoma
University Health Science Center told a meeting of the American Association for the
Advancement of Science. Although his study was done on intersexed Children whose
lives he followed into adulthood his thinking can most defintley be applied to
Transsexuals as well. “There is no one biological parameter that clearly defines sex,”
added Dr. Eric Vilain of the University of California, Los Angeles, whose research
suggests gender is genetically hard-wired into the brain before birth — regardless of
which genitalia develop.
After years of assigning Gender to intersexed children based on their chromosomes and
what would be best for the child, they now admit that was mistake. So imagine the
horror of little Johnny or Mary who are forced to live in a Gender forced upon them by
someone else. Imagine the terror as they are injected with the hormones from
the wrong gender giving them secondary sexual characteristics and body changes that
are foreign to them. So why didn't anyone ever listen to the screams of these children
before. What about the Transsexuals who were stopped from being the gender they
knew they were?

That's right folks. The kids really did know what gender they were at the tender age of
four. Transsexuals and the intersexed have been saying this since they remember. Did
anyone listen to us before? NO!!! Isn't it amazing that our brains develop long before
our genitals do in the womb.
Bringing up a child in the wrong gender is nothing short of torture for the kids involved.
Wearing the wrong clothes, playing with the wrong toys and the whole time just plain
not fitting in. At 13 you start turning into a monster if you're a Male to Female (MTF)
Transsexual. Your beautiful voice changes, body hair starts growing, muscles start
forming and you turn into a hairy monster. For a trans person this is one nightmare
from which you never wake up. You start wondering if Vincent Price and Bella Lagosi
the kings of the horror flicks are invading your dreams.
"Remember" says my Dad who stands me up from my sitting position to pee standing
up "this is for your own good".
I declared my name to be Marsha at age 4. I changed it to Laura at the age of seven.
My best friends name was Marsha. We played house all the time and I was the Mommy.
My father kept tossing bags of toy soldiers at me, along with a football and a set of six
guns all the time shouting he would make a man out of me. My lifes been hell ever since.
I told them I was a girl and no one listened.
Its time for everybody to "wake up and smell the coffee". I don't dress up as a woman
as a choice. I am a woman dammit. Ok, so the study I'm talking about is for intersexed
children. Certainly anyone with half a brain can see the similarities here.
Speaking of studies, where are the studies about transsexual children? There aren't any?
Why not? Because a conservative, religiously influenced government is not going to
approve any grant with that dirty word "SEX" in it. That's why. So transSEXuals have to
wait 4 more years for even a chance at getting more humane and compassionate human
beings in government Offices. Meanwhile, the torture legally continues for about a million
or so Transsexuals. So who do I scream at?

Hi my name is Jamie, (aka: emerald)
I was surgically assigned male gender shortly after birth, they chose wrong.
I was born in the early sixties, into a farm family. My father is ¾ Native American and ¼ Dutch. My mother is Swedish, I guess that the only person that that would make any difference to is me, but it’s a starting point. I have two brothers and two sisters; I’m in the middle. Almost from the start I knew that I was different from my brothers and sisters, just by the way that my father treated me. It was like my older brother could do no wrong, and I couldn’t do anything right. My mother just ignored me for the most part, which wasn’t so bad.
As I started to get older (five or six) I felt more drawn to females for friends. My parents didn’t feel that it was right, soon after the physical abuse started. Dad said one time that if he couldn’t teach me how to be a man, he would beat it into me. Around the age of eight or so I started to chose more feminine style clothing, I got that past dad for a short while. It didn’t take him long to catch on though, when he did all sorts of nasty things started happening. He had all my hair cut off and made sure that anything that even resembled a female style of clothing was burned.
When I was around twelve I discovered boys. I didn’t know what I was feeling, or why, but it felt natural to me that I should be attracted to them.
Around the age of fourteen all sorts of things started to happen. I started to develop hips, and my breasts started to grow. That was more than dad could handle, he and mom had me to the doctor so fast it wasn’t funny. That’s when the hormones started, testosterone, they told me that it was a special vitamin. It’s bad when your body is trying to do one thing and someone introduces something to stop it, it hurts. That was a rough time for me, the hip thing stopped so did the breasts, and the body hair started, they kept me on that till I was seventeen and left home.
I didn’t have much to do with any of them for a lot of years. We as a family have come to some sort of understanding about twelve years or so ago. We can at least talk and be somewhat nice to one another.
A short while ago, with me in my mid forties, I finally asked my mom about a scar that I have. I always wanted to know, but couldn’t ask because of embarrassment. See I have this scar that runs from my anus to the end of my boy thingy. She didn’t want to answer at first, so I pushed a little. When she finally was able to talk to me about it she told me that I was born both male and female, so many things made sense. She thought that if I ever knew the truth I would hate them. I can’t do that, life is to short, and I’ve wasted enough time on the past already.
I told her that I was only upset about a few things, one is that I wasn’t allowed to chose. The hormones and them not telling me about this back then.
Now I have a lot of things that I need to rethink a lot of things to rearrange in my personal perspective on life.
I’ve had a good life, I’ve seen almost everything that I care to see, and done most too. But now for me, it’s like life is starting over again. With so much to discover and rediscover.


Katherine was born XXY was operated on and converted to male and brought up that way. No one asked Katherine. She is Intersexxed. This was back in the days of Nature vs nurture when upbringing was thought to fix everything. As it turns out, the doctors were wrong. She now lives as a female. Until recently her tragedy was repeated on thousands of intersexxed babies. They have finally discovered that Nature wins the battle. Yet what about the mistakes they made? In her own words Katherine recounts her Tragic story.

I grew up a happy boy at least until ten or so. But things were never exactly normal. Though I had no idea they were out of the ordinary for boy's behavior. As I grew I began to notice things, one my father was increasingly frustrated with me. I knew I was somehow not meeting his expectations of what I should be. Second when I went to play with the other children in the family I was nervously watched by their mothers. It did not matter if it were boys or girls I was watched. When I was with my girl cousins it was if I might hurt them and when I played with the boys it was if I would get hurt or something else. If the play got to the point where I was being held by the boys I would always be called into the house to do some stupid thing and while I was never called in when I was with the girls I knew I was being watched. Trouble is I liked playing with the girls I love my cousins doll house and asked repeatedly for one like it every Christmas. My life was a series of mixed signals about my gender. Yes I was a boy; I knew that because I had that thing I peed with dangling between my legs. But everything else said I was a girl I had wide hips and soft skin and try as I may could not develop any muscle tone. I had complained about the scratchy cotton of boy's underwear and I had the rashes to prove it and mother changed me over night as it were to girls nylon panties and tops on the grounds that they would be better on my delicate skin. The problem with my tops was they had no sleeves and some tops my aunt gave me looked more like slips, never the less they were basic white and as unadorned as a post but they made me feel better. They had one drawback I had to pee sitting down. At home it was not a problem at school it was.As I got older things began to get worse, I was not developing as I should still skinny and my penis was still tiny like that of a child's. This part I kept entirely to my self out of fear. Yet it was a time when I should be noticing girls but I felt nothing for either sex. So it was a complete surprise when Johnny one of my cousins kissed me on the mouth. Up till that time he had been holding my hand something I did not even think was odd, then the kiss. I was shocked the first instant and I stiffened but then something inside of me said this is the way it should be dummy and I relaxed and let him continue. Another half second Aunt Helen his mother rushed out and literally tore us apart. She marched me into the parlor and closed the door. I heard her shouting at my mother she called me an abomination and devil spawn and mother's punishment I was born that way my aunt screamed and ill always be an abomination. The door flew open and mother with tears streaming down took me home in a cab. I was never asked to come back to Aunt Helen's because somehow I did something wrong. And also I was not allowed to come to aunt charlottes anymore and play with her kids. I kept asking why and my mother always put me off. Finally to get me away from all the rising hate and prejudice of the family mother decided to have me visit my aunt Pat's and her girls for the summer. My aunt Pat thought the kissing insident was hysterical. Then she said something ill always remember like it happened yesterday. Aunt Pat stopped laughing turned to me and asked "did you like it". I turned a bright red and froze yes I had liked it. The kiss appealed to me something terribly naughty and yet terribly exciting even thinking about it my nipples got hard as a rock. Aunt Pat smiled a wolfish grin and got out a document and handed it to me it was a copy of my birth certificate. But this one was different; the one in my home had been dated 18 months after I was born. This copy was dated a few days after my birth. It said my name was Katherine and I was a girl. I sat staring at the document. Was this a joke? I was a boy, wasn't I? Aunt Pat explained to me that I was born with both gender parts and even though I had more female parts than male I did have a viable testis and well being a male was better than a female's life. I could not believe what she was telling me they actually ripped out all my female parts which were also functioning in favor of this one testis.At first I was shocked and thought this never really happens to real people. There has to be another explanation. Then as the facts sank in it explained so much of my life, there were the mysterious scars down there my mother told me happened when I was born and then all the things in my life began to make sense. But why did they have to do that to me WHY ME! At 15 my whole world was devastated. The most basic question and the first question any one asks of a new born is not is it healthy or how big is it but is it a girl or boy once that is settled everything else is secondary in this world. I burst into tears. I had been so unhappy trying to be a boy so ashamed that my body was developing wide hips and then the nipples were now so sensitive and dark the latest was the mounds of flesh I could not bring myself to call them boobs. When my father saw them he hit the ceiling and then to punctuate his disappointment he hit me. Then he made me lift weights but I could not lift more than the smallest weight no matter how long I spent on them my mounds got bigger and my muscles seem to get smaller finally I stopped lifting weights convinced the weights were making it worse.When ever I had a beating I would go to my aunt's in tears. One day, after a bad beating, I arrived on her door step black and blue and in a half dressed tattered condition Aunt Pat said after you clean your self up why don't you wear one of Diane's dresses for now and see how it feels you would look very nice in it. It was not the first time I put on a dress but this time aunt Pat asked me to wear one. From then on I wore a dress when I came to Aunt Pat's and played with her daughters in girls clothes but this was not what my father wanted. I was soon taken to our doctor and more tests were run. They found out my male hormone level was just below average. They decided I should start taking testosterone and some steroids. They did not tell me of course what they planed to do but I was old enough to get the just of what was going to happen to me. So when the doctor came into the room with a tray and a shot on it I grabbed pair of scissors and told him if he stuck that needle in me I was surly going to stick the scissors into his neck. He was taken back as rage about my life and what they did to me over flowed in me. I reminded the doctor just who was his patient and he changed his mind about the shot. But father was not happy he took me home and beat me so bad I had to be taken to the hospital. We went to several doctors looking for some one to say they had a plan to make me a strapping boy like my brother. Finally he found someone to test weather I was actually a boy or girl but much to his anger my DNA proved I was XXY, dad acted like I had betrayed him and I was in a woman's plot to embarrass him he glared at mom and my self. But as the doctor said even if they had given me the testosterone it might not have worked as well as they liked for you have to have the needed receptors to make use of it and apparently I did not. The doctor suggested estrogen hormones instead. True my body would become female but the process would be much easer than it would be male. Father was not buying any of this and took me home and beat me again. If I thought my life was low I was wrong for the catholic school where I went had for 20 years a dirty little secret, the coach was a child molester and I was perfect for him. After school I would have to come to him and let him do things to me or he would let the guys tease me and hit me with wet towels in the shower. If I did what he wanted I could shower in the girls shower room alone away from the guys stinging wet towels and they would not tease me in school. My parents pretended nothing was wrong even after I took my mothers whole bottle of codeine and was rushed to the hospital, they pretended it was all a mistake. But I think mom was beginning to understand for she had me dress in a beautiful party dress for my 16th birthday. She gave me one big order and that was never get or be undressed in front of a male ever again not even my father. It was the same order I learned that grandma gave her when she was growing up and I began to understand why. My body was getting soft and my hips were getting wide, this was not the way males were supposed to grow up but then just what was I anyway. How could I tell her of the coach at school I was beginning to think I really was an abomination and a curse to my mom. I wanted to die I didn't want to have this pain or hurt anyone else again. I daily thought of ways I could end it all. However even in the darkest night the morning will break and the clouds were beginning to part when they caught the coach and put him in jail and children's hospital called they were starting a new program which dwelt with the intersexed. They had kept records and I was one of the children they had done so long ago and was not functioning in my assigned sex. Actually of none the babies they chouse to "normalize" had not worked out and they were quite disturbed by that fact. They interviewed my mother and my father and my aunts and me finally they let me in the program. From there it was a rapid course to hormones and living as a female in a group home then the operation and finally saying goodbye to all those girls I had grown so close to. I began to live as a female, one who had terrible birth defects but now I was on the right track.I was unprepared for collage as a female, and I had a hard time mostly do to the dating game. Still my orientation of sexual mate was changing though I was never attracted to women I was now beginning to like men in my life. Never at first sexually, of course just the need to be flattered and wanted by them and my liking to caterer to them. With a little help and my collage credits I became a registered nurse. I still have my rage against the doctor who thought he knew better than god what I should be. This practice should be stopped it is an outrage and yet they let it go on. The pain it caused me cannot be measured. If I had been born with a withered arm it would have been tragic but it would have been accepted. Yet when someone is born with gender problems they are treated as freaks and worse, I never understood this and never will.
Katherine B

Tonight was the Big Night (BE-ALL)

What a wonderful turn out that event is, thousands come from around the globe to be there. I made the appearance and it was fantastic. I spoke to so many ladies, I actually started getting a sore throat. Dressed in low rise black jeans, purple top and 3 1/2 wedge shoes, Shauna was sure to be a knockout and her smile is her trademark.
What was so wonderful was meeting the people I have been emailing all these months, faces with words and now many friendships as well.

I enjoyed the drive too, I love getting attention and while driving my pickup truck the way I do *safety always* I get some great looks from people, men tend to look longer and ask themselves a woman driving a truck while scratching their heads while smiling, women just look and continue what they are doing.
Why is it when you are at a traffic light and a guy will pull up beside you even when I pulled up further, he would pull up beside me, god I don't like that because it freaks me out.

Any how...

Like I said to my friends there, wait till next year when I have my breasts and I am more feminine with curves, they won't be able to recognize me unless I smile.
I love helping people, and to let them know how I came about in this world helps them then let me help all.

There were so many beautiful women there, Crossdressers, Transsexuals, M2F and F2M, Wives and Partners. The Transsexuals were the best hands down, just think I will be like one of them someday. The curves, hair and all around appearance were fantastic and when they spoke it was pure female. I just wish I seen more like me, intersex people would have been great but there were so many people there. Maybe next year I will be asked to speak again.

I will continue to help who ever I can and direct them on the right path, speak to them and answer as many questions as I possibly can.

I also got to see one of my GG's (Patricia) while out, and she confirmed it I am 100% passable, that makes my life so much easier. Then she called me later that my song was on, "Dude looks like a lady" :( Seriously she thought of me when she heard it lol.

Too many questions

I am in deep thought tonight, I seen couples walking hand in hand and it frighten me because my path may keep me alone. Who would want to be with a person like myself, I mean I am part woman and part man.
I dated quite a few ladies as a man, the thought now is how will it be with a woman as my female self.

I keep questioning facts in my life, things that has made me stop and really think. Would she want someone like me, I am a good person, I am loving, caring and full of happiness that never seem to be a problem up to now.
Dating as a lesbian is new territory, so new I even made a profile on match dot com to see if it's possible.

I can't see myself being lonely, it terrifies me. Life is too short to be alone.
Shauna wants to be out roaming and exploring where I need to be here to protect us from the terrible people that are out there. People who don't open their eyes nor their hearts that we are all the same just different shells.

Shauna is my love, she will always bring me happiness no matter what, so I need to find out if she will be able to find a mate. I question myself all the time, like will I fit it or am I passable. Friends will say yes, because they want to make you feel good about yourself.
Oh I have seen how friends say you will pass and believe me many look like men trying to pass like women. I am lucky I suppose in a way, I have many feminine features and I am careful not to jump into a situation where it will bite me in the butt.

So the question is lingering, will my life be lonely or will I always give happiness to the one I am with?

My new life, it hasn't changed me...

My new life began when I came out from behind that big closet door, I now live my life as a man and a woman. Before that time I lived as a man that was very sad, emotionally I struggled daily hiding something which I sometimes wish it never happened to me but I am thankful it didn't happen to one of my brothers.

I have research my issue for 35 years, a gender disorder something that will make a person commit suicide because there is no cure, it isn't something someone thinks is in thier head because it isn't something that can be treated with medicine.

My mother kept something from the world the moment I was developing into a teen, maybe it was to save me from being hurt maybe it was something to keep me from being discovered or maybe it was because my father would not understand. Either way my mother tried to save me and it has tormented me for 35 years.

My hopes and dreams of having children are only dreams now, all my prayers in the world will never be answered. I could have adopted, but to have a child of your very own is so precious and that will never happen. Everyone I know has beautiful children, some I believe do not deserve to have but god let them have them anyway. Atleast I have my beautiful nieces my sister had, oh my they are so precious, my pride and joy. I have a godson too, I held him when he was a baby and cried because he wasn't mine. I have held more babies wishing just one time they could have been mine.

To see me you would never know I have a disorder, that my skin is softer than silk, that I am so emotional that I cry at a moments notice and I live two lives because I am trying to find happiness of who I am. Maybe my stepmom was right when she said it would have been easier if I had came out as gay, maybe I am if I become a woman totally. I make a great girl friend for women because I listen and sometimes envy because I believe I am more woman than man.

I know in my heart, it hurts my friends and family to see me in this bad way, and I wish I never came out only because I don't like to see them with the hurt in thier eyes. I can read faces so well that at times I don't want to look at them. It hurts me more now knowing how I have hurt so many with my secret, I just wish I kept my secret a secret.

I was hoping maybe I would find more happiness pushing that door open, I was looking to change what hasn't left my inner self, I still am unhappy maybe more now than before, I am still lost in a sea of emotions that hasn't left me and I hate feeling sorry for myself I hate it. I want peace within, that is all I am asking for. Why couldn't I have been born normal?

My life is so much different now, I am still the same person and I still look the same but the people that are around me are different, now that they know who I am. I am a woman and a man which changed everything, there is no more secrets.

To help you understand what different types

Understanding Gender Identity Disorder
(GID) and Gender Dysphoria

What is gender identity?
Gender identity occurs from the neck up. Biological sex is defined from the neck down.
Our gender is the self-defined recognition of our selves as either male, female, or some combination of characteristics from both. Gender is a term which reflects our "social" self, rather than our biological self. Our gender does not, in fact, always match our biological markings as "male" or "female."

What is gender dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria, which is also known as 'gender identity disorder' or (GID), is a medical diagnosis that describes an experience of anxiety, confusion, and discomfort about the discrepancy between one's biological sex, and one's self-defined gender identity which does not match their biological sex.
The first three words that we often hear upon our entrance to this world are either, "It's a boy," or "It's a girl." When those words are spoken, an automatic series of expectations are set in motion about how we will think, look, dress and act as we grow-up. The gender dysphoric child, however, will soon discover that what is expected of him or her is not what feels good or right. This begins the journey toward self-discovery. Unfortunately, this journey toward self-discovery is wrought with strong social influences, expectations, and misinformation. Much like being dropped in a thick dark forest without a guide, or any clear paths, the gender dysphoric child must safely navigate his or her way to his or her true gender, often alone.
Generally, early in life, a child who is born with mismatched sex and gender, will begin to feel as if they have been born into the wrong body. Though there is typically no language, or even understanding of what is happening, yet a dysphoric child will develop the sense early on that something is very different about them. The emphasis in our society on gender-appropriate behavior generally creates varying degrees of distress for a youngster with gender dysphoria. The boy who wants to wear pink, and is shamed for this; or the girl who doesn't want to wear a dress and is made to, may soon develop the belief that how he or she feels is "wrong," or "bad." This feeling of shame often serves as the foundation on which the rest of one's gender then develops.
Gender confusion, and conflict may ebb and flow over the years, with some periods of time being more difficult than others. Eventually, however, it will begin to permeate every aspect of life, causing increasing amounts of distress, confusion, and anxiety for the gender incongruent person.
The degree of dysphoria varies from mild to extreme. For some, dysphoria simply creates mild feelings of belonging to the opposite sex, and may cause people to dress as the opposite sex once in a while (called cross-dressing). For others, anxiety about being 'in the wrong body' can be the major driving force in their lives, leading them to seek gender reassignment, commonly known as a sex-change or (known as transsexualism). Others may simply question the rigidity of gender roles, and seek to establish a 'transgender' identity with out any particular motivation to alter their bodies.
For diagnostic purposes, the mental health community relies on a manual commonly referred to as the DSM-IV, to classify someone as having Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID). The primary criteria for this diagnosis is a strong and persistent cross-gender identification. This means the person wants to be, or is insistent they already belong to, the opposite sex. A person must be persistently uncomfortable in their current gender role, and feel that it's not congruent with their physical self. This diagnosis will not fit if a person is motivated to transition for the purposes of experiencing a cultural advantage of the other sex. Likewise, the diagnosis is not appropriate for someone with 'intersex' conditions. There has to be evidence of clinically significant distress, or damage to important aspects of the person's life to diagnose gender identity disorder.
Gender dysphoria is an overwhelming and widely misunderstood condition that causes significant distress for those experiencing these conflicts. It is common for gender dysphoric men and women to develop anxiety and depression. The longer these issues go un-addressed, the more severe the conflicts can become. Many people make choices to affirm their biological sex by over-compensating for their gender identification with the other sex. Men may go to extremes to prove their masculinity, including marriage and fatherhood, and biological women may also go to extremes to prove their femininity.

Transsexualism

Transsexualism can be defined as an incongruence between the biological sexual differentiation and the gender identity. In a nutshell, a man or woman who experiences the feeling that they have the mind of one gender and the body of another. The intensity of conflict for a transsexual is such that relief can only be experienced by changing their body to match their mind.

Transitioning one's gender role typically involves a regimen of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), which may or may not be followed by Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) depending on how a person defines their own gender. Some men and women are able to find relief for their gender-incongruence by changing their physical self enough to be perceived by the world in the gender that is most true for them, regardless of the genitals they have. Others, despite the private nature of what one's genitals are, feel persistently uncomfortable until their entire physical self, genitals and all, match their gender identification.

How common is gender dysphoria?
There are no studies, currently, that reflect an accurate representation of the percentage of people who experience gender dysphoria. Because of the highly-stigmatized, often shame-based nature of this condition, it is common for those with gender issues to censor and conceal their feelings, thus compromising our ability to know how many people are experiencing this pain.

What are the causes?

The quick answer is, we just don't know.
We do know that transsexuals have normal male (XY) or female (XX) chromosomes for their sex. There are no identifiable physical characteristics for gender dysphoria, and there is no 'test' for the condition. Hermaphrodites and others with ambiguous sexual characteristics at birth are not transsexuals, and don't necessarily experience gender dysphoria.
One theory is that changes in the brain before birth cause certain parts of it to develop the opposite pattern to their sex. Significant proportions of male transsexuals have abnormally low levels of HY antigen. HY assists in the masculinising effect of the Y chromosome in men. Work done in the Netherlands also suggests that the problem arises in the hypothalamus in the brain. This is involved in the early development of sexual differences within the brain, and controls the production of sex hormones throughout life.

What do you look for when diagnosing Gender Identity Disorder (GID)?
There are two components of Gender Identity Disorder, both of which must be present to make the diagnosis.

1) There must be evidence of a strong and persistent gross-gender identification, which is the desire to be, or the insistence that one is of the other sex (Criteria A). This cross-gender identification must not merely be a desire for any perceived cultural advantages of being the other sex.

2) There must also be evidence of persistent discomfort about one’s assigned sex or a sense of inappropriateness in the gender role of that sex (Criteria B).
The diagnosis is not made if the individual has a concurrent physical intersex condition (e.g., androgen insensitivity syndrome or congenital adrenal hyperplasia) (Criteria C). To make the diagnosis, there must be evidence of clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (Criteria D).

What is common to see from a person with GID throughout their development?

...Childhood
During childhood, boys will typically show an obvious interest in traditionally feminine activities. They may prefer dressing in girls' or women's clothes. A boy who openly admits wanting to be a girl is likely to be teased, redirected, or told that's not "right," and that he "shouldn't" want to be a girl. He is expected to grow out of it quickly. In boys, there is also often an assertion that his penis or testes are disgusting or will disappear or assertion that it would be better not to have a penis, or aversion toward rough-and-tumble play and rejection of male stereotypical toys, games, and activities.

Traditionally, a young girl who wants to be a boy and expresses this is less likely to invite such criticism. She may be labeled as a tomboy, but is still expected to grow out of it. In girls, rejection of urinating in a sitting position, assertion that she has or will grow a penis, or assertion that she does not want to grow breasts or menstruate, or marked aversion toward normative feminine clothing.

Many children do grow out of gender dysphoria. Only a small number of children continue to feel the same way in later adolescence. Some families are better than others at accepting their children's behavior. Some children live openly in their chosen gender role, but have to endure the taunts of their peers as well as pressure from their parents. Others cope by hiding their feelings and learning to play the gender role assigned to them, meanwhile going deeper into a private world of cross-gender fantasy and desire.

...Adolescence
With puberty, hormones start to trigger body changes which often ignite greater stress for gender incongruent men not wanting to develop a deeper voice and greater muscle mass, or incongruent women not wanting to start their menstrual cycle or grow breasts.

...Early adulthood
In adulthood,, the disturbance is manifested by symptoms such as preoccupation with getting rid of primary and secondary sex characteristics (e.g., request for hormones, surgery, or other procedures to physically alter sexual characteristics to simulate the other sex) or belief that he or she was born the wrong sex.
Most people who have grown up with gender dysphoria show less openly cross-gender behavior as time goes on, because of their parent's interventions or pressure from their peers. By early adulthood, nearly 75 percent boys who had a childhood history of gender dysphoria may think of themselves as homosexual or bisexual. They no longer have feelings of belonging to the wrong gender.
The remaining 25 percent or so, however, continue to experience gender dysphoria into adulthood. They may try to rid themselves of their ever-increasing gender anxiety in various ways. They may get married and have children, in the hope that this will help, or simply to hide their feelings from others. Some seek professional help, often to ask for gender reassignment.
...Later adulthoodYears of trying to overcome a deep-rooted desire and coping with anxiety can lead to depression. For some, the pressure is so great that they attempt suicide. Many re-assess their lifestyle when they come to later life. Some seek professional help; others start cross-dressing more frequently, in private.

How are gender and sexual orientation related?

Gender identity is the way in which a person defines their sense of self as male or female. Sexual orientation is unrelated, except that it is defined by the gender toward whom we find ourselves attracted both emotionally and physically. People with gender dysphoria can be homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Typically the direction of one's attractions toward males or females, remains consistent despite changes in ones gender role. So if a man is married to a woman (pre-transition), it is likely that after transition she will wish to remain married, or will at least remain attracted to women even if she now lives as one. It does appear common, however, for those who have transitioned to experiment with relationships that serve to affirm their gender.

Transvestite
A transvestite, or transvestic fetishist, will dress as a member of the opposite sex and will often get sexual excitement from it. Transvestism is quite different from transsexualism and other forms of gender dysphoria. Transvestites don't feel that they belong to the opposite sex or alienated from their own bodies or sexual organs.

What do you look for in diagnosing Tranvestic Fetishism?
Over a period of at least 6 months, in a heterosexual male, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving cross-dressing.
The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
What is gender reassignment?
Gender reassignment is a several year process that starts with an inner conflict that is unrelenting. Once the transgender person acknowledges this conflict and makes the decision to deal with it, he or she typically starts counseling. Typically within three months of counseling with a skilled gender therapist, a trans man or woman will initate HRT (hormone replacement therapy) to begin reshaping their body and initiating a long-overdue ender-appropriate puberty. Eventually a real life test (RLT) will be initiated and this is an opportunity to live for an entire year in the preferred gender role. For those seeking Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS), this year is required prior to surgery.

Some people reassign their genders without ever having surgery. It is difficult, however, to transfer your identity on legal documents such as birth certificates, drivers licenses, and social security cards if you do not have a letter from a surgeon stating your gender has been reassigned. Although people's chromosomes and reproductive identity can't be altered, long-term hormone treatment and surgery should allow them the physical appearance and some of the sexual functions of the opposite sex. However, after surgery, they will lose the ability to have children.
Gender reassignment is not the best solution for everyone. There are many steps to move a person closer to their authentic gender without requiring sugery. For others, though, it's essential to live peacefully.

What does male to female gender reassignment involve?
For a biological male wanting to affirm his female gender, it is necessary to first start a regimen of estrogen (hormone replacement therapy or HRT). This will move the affirmed female into something akin to puberty, whereby she will experience fat redistribution, softer skin, some mood changes with increased emotional sensitivity, breast development, and it will also cause the penis to atrophy and not perform as well, if at all, as usual.

Following HRT, if surgery is desired, the candidate will have to live for one year in her new gender, prior to receiving a letter of referral from a gender specialist. It is common during this time to initiate hair removal (via laser or electrolysis), undergo facial feminization surgery, practice feminizing voice, experiment with feminine dress and make-up as well as hair styles and body language.

After carefully selecting a surgeon, receiving a letter of support from her therapist, the affirmed female can have surgery. Though there are different techniques for this surgery, the most common will form of surgery will remove the testicles and erectile tissue of the penis in order to create a vagina lined with the skin of the penis, where the nerves and blood vessels remain largely intact. Tissue from the scrotum is then used to create the labia, and the urethra is shortened and repositioned appropriately.

What does female to male gender reassignment involve?

For a biological woman wanting to affirm his male gender, it is necessary to first start a regimen of testosterone (hormone replacement therapy or HRT). This will move the affirmed male into something akin to puberty, whereby he will experience beard growth and muscle development, along with a deeper voice, changes in his body odor, skin (it's common to get acne), and even personality. Affirmed men often feel more aggressive on testosterone, than prior to taking it. On the whole, these changes can't be reversed later. It is also common for affirmed men to have a double mastectomy (breast removal) with chest reconstruction. This makes it much easier for the person to appear as a man in public. After at least a year of hormone treatment, the ovaries and uterus are removed (although menstrual cycles tend to cease within the first couple of months on testosterone.
For many female to male transsexuals, this is as far as they will go with surgery. Going further is more complex, very costly and the surgical techniques available are not as effective for affirmed males as they are for affirmed females. For those who do continue, phalloplasty (penis construction) and testicle implants are available. It's also possible to create a male urethra and to move the clitoris to the head of the penis.

Other Terms

Cross-dressing
Cross-dressing is simply the behavior of wearing clothes and styles that have been assigned by a culture or society for a person of the opposite gender. This behavior does not indicate that a person is transsexual or that he desires to live in the role of the other gender. Rather, it is a behavior that may be motivated by various reasons, including, but not limited to, transexualism.

Cross-dressing behaviors that are not the same as Gender Identity Dysphoria include:

Drag - is a special form of entertainment based on cross-dressing

Drag-Queen is a male-bodied person who performs as an exaggeratedly feminine character, in an elaborate costume. A drag queen will often imitate famous female film or pop-music stars.

Drag king - is the counterpart of the drag queen — a female-bodied person who adopts an exaggerated masculine persona in performance or who imitates a male film or pop-music star.

Androgyny
This is a term derived from the combination of Greek words meaning man (andro) and woman (gyny), that can refer to two concepts regarding the mixing of both male and female genders or having a lack of gender identification.

Intersexuality
This is a term used to describe a person whose sex chromosomes, genitalia and/or secondary sex characteristics are determined to be neither exclusively male nor female. A person with intersex may have biological characteristics of both the male and female sexes.

Genderqueer or (intergender)
This is a gender identity of both, neither or some combination of "man" and/or "woman". In relation to the gender binary (the view that there are only two genders), genderqueer people generally identify as more "both/and" or "neither/nor," rather than "either/or."
Some genderqueer people see their identity as one of many different genders outside of man and woman, some see it as a term encompassing all gender identities outside of the gender binary, some believe it encompasses binary genders among others, some may identify as a-gender and some see it as a third gender in addition to the traditional two. The commonality is that all genderqueer people reject the notion that there are only two genders in the world. The term genderqueer is also occasionally used more broadly as an adjective to refer to people who are in some way gender-transgressive, and could have any gender identity.

Pansexual
Pansexuality means being attracted to or open to attraction to people of all different gender identities, and reflects a non-binary understanding of gender and its interplay with sexuality. Other associated terms include: Omnisexual Polysexual and Multisexual

What I have found to be as an intersex person?

As I have been reading these last few months more into my condition I have found I am quite unique which stands to reason why I am prepared to make my transition into womanhood easier and it will be costly to say the least but I will find myself in such a better place than being limbo all these years. So without further ado, let me share with you some things of what I found about being intersex.

Intersex is a group of conditions where there is a discrepancy between the external genitals and the internal genitals (the testes and ovaries).
The older term for this condition, hermaphroditism, came from joining the names of a Greek god and goddess, Hermes and Aphrodite. Hermes was a god of male sexuality (among other things) and Aphrodite a goddess of female sexuality, love, and beauty.
Although the older terms are still included in this article for reference, they have been replaced by most experts (and patients and families) because they are misleading, confusing, and insensitive. Increasingly this group of conditions is being called disorders of sex development (DSDs).

The symptoms associated with intersex will depend on the underlying cause, but may include:
Ambiguous genitalia at birth
Micropenis
Clitoromegaly (an enlarged clitoris)
Partial labial fusion
Apparently undescended testes (which may turn out to be ovaries) in boys
Labial or inguinal (groin) masses -- which may turn out to be testes -- in girls
Hypospadias (the opening of the penis is somewhere other than at the tip; in females, the urethra urine canal opens into the vagina)
Otherwise unusual appearing genitalia at birth
Electrolyte abnormalities
Delayed or absent puberty
Unexpected changes at puberty

True Gonadal Intersex
Here the person must have both ovarian and testicular tissue. This might be in the same gonad (an ovotestis) or the person might have one ovary and one testis. The person may have XX chromosomes, XY chromosomes, or both. The external genitals may be ambiguous, or may appear to be female or male. This condition used to be called true hermaphroditism. In most people with true gonadal intersex, the underlying cause is unknown, although in some animal studies it has been linked to exposure to common agricultural pesticides.

The symptoms associated with intersex will depend on the underlying cause, but may include:
Ambiguous genitalia at birth
Micropenis
Clitoromegaly (an enlarged clitoris)
Partial labial fusion
Apparently undescended testes (which may turn out to be ovaries) in boys
Labial or inguinal (groin) masses -- which may turn out to be testes -- in girls
Hypospadias (the opening of the penis is somewhere other than at the tip; in females, the urethra [urine canal] opens into the vagina)
Otherwise unusual appearing genitalia at birth
Electrolyte abnormalities
Delayed or absent puberty
Unexpected changes at puberty

My parents may have not been aware till later, and I have no ill regrets for the mistake that caused me my hard life. I now have all the rights in the world to change the wrongs and complete my journey which I am in the process with the support of my sister and brothers as well as all my friends. I am looking into the HRT program to help with what never finshed and remove such things as the testes that is in no use which also makes my libido 5 times stronger than it should be and distracts me from proper thinking and believe you me it is a bother. Also to continue using the gym because at the moment I am 28% body fat (woman) and my goal is 18%, also I would like breast augmentation to get me where I would like to be without the breast forms because I have a cup a-b. So thank you again for listening to my whinning and for the explaination of who I am. I love you all...

What is happening in my life now...

I realize now that maybe my father never knew what had happen when I was born, nor my mother for that matter. As I was growing from my childhood till puberty I was a normal little boy I suppose, but all that was to change when I went to see the doctor and found my deformity of my gentials.
I just want to say I don't blame anyone but god for my mishap, nothing could have been done and now as an adult experiencing what I have I now know more which has explained so much of the whys and why nots.
No matter what I am still a beautiful person, whether I am either gender because that is who I am. I am at this time experiencing premenopause which is driving me crazy, one minute I am so happy and the next I am an emotional wreck. I have been so fatigued that I have to lay down to sleep because I get a head ache like no one can believe. My estrogen levels are changing, which can explain why I am now experiencing facial hair at 46, I never had to shave everyday in my whole life. I would have shave 3 times a month and it was very few hairs. (thanks to electrolsys and laser hair rmoval I will not be shaving anymore)
The testostrone is up there I believe but the estrogen is leveling off and that isn't what I want. I love being feminine, it is a part of me, it is what makes me happy. So as soon as I can afford it, I will have the doctor put me on HRT and remove my one testes.

So to say with all my blogs, I believe my father never knew or he sure played it off real well.

Love

Every time I write it is about me, god I hate that and that isn't why I write. This is about everyone I know and the others who aren't friends with me. The many who don't know what girls and boys go through each and everyday trying to fit in.
I wish the human race was as fore giving as the animal kingdom, there is no right or wrong, there is pure love for each other.
People hate, hate because they see things as black and white, hate people for truly describing how they feel and then someone dies for it.
Why do people hate each other so much? Maybe god needs to get involved and take something from them as they have taken from others.

I personally haven't laid a finger on anyone in my life, I believe in loving everyone because I believe that whatever you do to someone it will return to bite you in the ass ten fold.

Love is such a strong word and people are afraid of that.

Transgender, the description describes men and women changing themselves for who they believe they were born to be, but you have no idea what it really means?
Each of us are born as female it is proven medically even though you didn't know it, we all are transgender's, look into it prove the medical fields wrong and when you can't, think about the next transgender you strike down. Will it be your brother, your sister, your mom maybe your dad whoever it is we are all the same.

Love each other, that's all I ask, make this world a wonderful place to live and if you can't do that, keep your opinions to yourself.
Who are we that we can judge who lives and who dies, who are you to think god wants that?
Are you god, because there are prayers that need answering and you are wasting time.

See I know so much about the different races, the different genders and life itself because I listen, watch and cry for all and I try to forgive everyone though I don't even know you, I do try.

You don't know who I am!

I am a son, a daughter, a stepfather, an uncle, a soon to be aunt, a godfather, a great uncle but most of all a great friend to all whether I am a man or whether I choose to be whom I believe I should have been born..a woman.

Believe it or not, I love you all......

For my Father and Stepmom

Such a shocker huh, your good looking oldest son with all the greatest friends, successful and comes out to the world that he now wants to be a woman and give up all hopes and dreams. Hmm why do you think I would want that, give up on my dreams or give up my friends? Hmm why do you think I would want that, give up on my dreams or give up my friends?

Did you happen to notice I was depressed, not just lately mind you, say for the last 35 years.

Oh yes I covered up my life, I covered up because I had no one to talk to about my problems. Marriage was when I really woke up, the doctors and urologists who pointed out my little disorder. Imagine your son with the look of sadness on his face when the urologists said you will never bear children, you have NO SPERM COUNT!!
Do you see what I am saying here, I have one testes, where is the other one? My one testes is the size of a five year old, OMG what happen to me god? I wanted children, I could of been a great parent but I was never given the chance because something went wrong in birth.
I guess being a woman wouldn't please you either, as a man I was a failure too for you, but atleast let your son be the girl he was supposed to be. I will always be *sis* and I learned to live with it.
I remember growing up you used to say, never give up on your dreams, well this has been one of my biggest and now what, give up?I hurt all the time, emotionally drained and crying all the time. Why must I endure all this grief and my own parents look at me like *what*?

I have always been there for you two, I do the things your other children can't do or refuse to do, why do you turn me away, why? I am beautiful, I am a woman in a mans body and I am unhappy in my present state, please, please understand why I need this. Always been feminine, soft skin and mannerisms, and god only knows the emotional way about me. This is better than dying, I was emotionally unstable and I wanted you to listen, to understand and maybe, just maybe stand behind me like all my brothers and sister. Maybe like all my friends, whom you think are not with me on this.
I am sorry Dad, I am who I am because you taught me to follow my dreams. You know what? It doesn't matter, I am who I am because I love myself and if I fail as a person (not a gender or a label) then I fail. Whether you love me or not, I am loved by many and that is all that counts!

Believe it or not, my finding myself has given reasons why I need to be here.

Part Two - The journey

When I reached the age of 14, I finally did find my mom, she was married to some idiot that didn’t like teens, especially a teen like me, if he had known I was part girl my life would have been a living hell. I was there for a few months and low and behold my father threaten her if I wasn’t returned, she would be thrown in jail so I gave myself up. Why Dad, why do I have to go back to you, why? I planned and saved to run away again, this time I wouldn’t go with my mother, this time my father wouldn’t find me and this time would be the last time I would ever return to his house. I bought a car, paid the examiner off from the DOT so I could drive and slept in my car. Thank god it was during the summer.
I finally went to my mom, and she let me into her life, that was my happiest moment of my life.
She provided the school with a letter to explain that I wasn't to attend gym class and shower with the boys. My mother showed me things about who I was and told me it would be my decision on what I would become but remember this was the seventies, the gender issues weren’t out yet. I learned about myself, how to cook, to sew and make clothes. How to coordinate colors, she should me makeup and asked if I preferred girls or boys, which I said girls of course. My mother was my mentor, my best friend and my Mother. She let me dress as I pleased, wore my hair long and basically was her daughter which I wished often she would see me now instead of in spirit.
As I turned to 17, my father thought it was best that I enlist in the Navy which sounded like he was trying to get rid of me and he did after I joined. While I was away, the thoughts of being the girl I was I had to hide and only because of fear of getting beat up or the unmistakable being raped. I was home from the Navy, and my mentor the one who understood me, the best friend and the person I called Mom was dying from cancer something I couldn’t help change it just watch idly by and pray she would get better. Mom said she would give me the greatest gift for my birthday (I would be 22 years old) and she did, after watching her fight cancer for eighteen months my mother died six days before my birthday – that was my present.
I lost someone who knew me, knew about what kind of person I was, that I was born with a rare gender disorder. I was dating a girl back then who knew of my special side and enjoyed it as well. My hair was long and so pretty, no facial hair and I was 23 years old. She said my chest was baby fat and would someday go away, she was so wrong. How many guys would cuddle and share emotions like I did, she loved that in me. She would dress me up with makeup on a Halloween, only to realize that she was dating a real girl in a males form. I transformed into a girl within minutes before her eyes, I walked and talked naturally, and had many men think I was a young lady that evening. After that night our relationship changed, I was her girl friend not her boy friend and we ended our relationship while I was away taking care of personal business, she ended up with a real male.
She broke my heart because I thought we had a special relationship, but she shunned me away. So I went into a depression that brought be to see a therapist, I finally cried for my mothers death and for losing my girlfriend for being different, which was pointed that I was unique. I was different than other males but I was special and I wouldn't know this until my reenlisted back in the Navy a year later.

Part One - A beautiful baby is born

On August 14, 1961, two people began thier lives as parents to a lovely child with no name or no gender.
The father wanted his son, the mother wanted her daughter, god decided to give them both and here is my story.

A baby in the sixties with a gender problem did'nt exist (intersex), it was frowned upon so my father being the stronger of the two decided he had his son finally and he would be the only one in his family for a hundred generations to have a first born son.
My family tree shows all first born as females, isn't it ironic that I was brought up as a boy? From the time I was born till now, I was always feminine, the sissy in the family. There were hints, like when I was 14 and I was developing into a teen, the doctor that examined me said I was developing normally but my genitals were in fact the same, one ovary and one testes. I wouldn't look like my brothers when it came to puberty, the voice wouldn't develop and when my brothers grew hair on their faces or chest, that would never come for me. My parents divorced when I was 11, my father took me from my mother. Which I had ran away many times but stayed with her until I reached 16. I remember a time during grade school, a boy locked me in a locker laughing the whole time, my younger brother asked him to release me but when the boy refused, my brother knocked all his front teeth out with one punch and rescued me. It was always like that, I wasn’t much of a fighter or did I like to rough house. My girl friends would ask their parents if I could go to sleepovers, but that wouldn’t be since I was a boy to them, I would hang out at the mall and wish I could be just like them. Instead, I grew up to be a weak boy which would develop a bad attitude and be mean as hell towards everyone. I got caught wearing my step mom’s night dress when I was 12, which she had me parade to everyone for a day that I got caught (that was the best punishment I would ever have). I ran away when I was 13, sleeping in boxes and goodwill containers, stealing food to eat till I could find my true Mother. I would get closer to her which dad would bring me back and I would run away again. Now how many times does it take for him to understand I am not happy? I tried to commit suicide when I was 16, I failed in life as a girl and certainly as a boy, so I wanted what was right for me. Not to be ashamed of my body no longer, my emotional roller coaster would end, and I failed because I called an ambulance to pump my stomach and hear my father say "you can't even do that right!", Oh how I wished I was never born then. But my life was about to change.....

Shauna is special to me

This is so different, now being out the excitement everyday brings. On Monday I will have laser hair removal for the little hair I have on my face and then for my body. My skin has naturaly been so soft, but I hear hormones make you soft, how much more soft can I get?
Let me explain to you something, I have always been feminine and I am not ashamed of it either, makes me happy I found myself.
What does life have in store for me now that I said enough is enough? Should I have always stayed hidden till my dying day just to please others around me, hell no, I want this more than life itself. As all my CD girl friends tell me thier adventures I find I am looking forward to becoming the woman I have been waiting for oh so many years. She is real special, you really should meet her. Shauna is like no other woman I have met, and I have met plenty but this isn't about me is it.
Imagine someone so sweet and gentle, she didn't have to be mean she had me to do that. Shauna is everything I am not and more, if I could meet someone, I would want her.
A little girl no more, a woman waiting for her time and that is sooner than you think.

GG and the wedding

I have a good friend getting married in September, this is his first (marriage) and his fiancee (her second marriage). This isn't about him, his girl asked me (Shauna) to attend the wedding, because she said I was beautiful and that Shawn was too brash.

I was honored, so I shopped and searched for the perfect dress, with all the correct accessories. This little shopping spree cost me a hefty $200.00, not only clothes but a professional makeup artist (only the best for Shauna). Now this is the best part of this little blog, she asked now that Shauna not to attend (halt) ahhh what did she ask?
Apparently she thinks that for some odd reason one of my friends which is her future husbands friends, will get a few drinks in himself and make a scene towards Shauna. Ahh my friends will make a scene towards me, I don't think so!
Now why would a GG ask me to a wedding and reception only to say a week later?

(mistake number 1)I showed her the dress and accessories before her decision and now I have to send it all back hoping to get refunded.What possible reason would she do that??

(mistake number 2)Don't invite someone and take back the invite just because you assume something may happen when you know damn well it won't.

That is one beautiful dress...I would have made a beautiful princess that night.