That terrible evening in October

Please before reading this it is not intended for you to feel sorry for me, it is just something that happened and I learned to move on.

I had just had taken the evening off, you see I was in the Navy and I finally recieved shore time off. My ship was refueling and repairing small things before we were to report back to sea. I went to wash clothes at a laundry mat because it was quiet, the temp outside for October was 80 degrees and it was beautiful to be away from everyone for a change. Imagine serving on a ship with 5400 other guys day in and day out, the break was needed.
You see I kept to myself because of my gender issues, always in my mind but kept a secret. I was straight young and single, so I dated when we were in port long enough. So here I was washing clothes when another guy shows up to wash clothes, he was from another ship but was familar, actually he was there picking up his laundry.
His name was Larry, I remember it like it was yesterday and at the time it was October 1987, I was 24 years old. Larry and I began chatting about the navy, where we were from, where we have been and he said he was finishing up his laundry which he said you want to party, of course I did, heck I just returned from being at sea for 6 months. So we waited for my clothes to dry and off we went, I followed with my car to his house and there was a party in full swing.

Cool I thought, girls and guys were everywhere. Larry was the perfect host, bringing me beers when I was through with the one I had. Now I had been drinking beer(magic word here)some how or sometime my beer had been spiked with something because I woke up to find myself being raped by three guys.
I was so out of it that I couldn’t defend myself and passed out again.I woke up to find myself on the ground near my clothes and my car, all bloody and bruised, with semen all over me.
I just cried till I had the strength to get dressed and drive back to the ship, my chest was scratched and bruised, I had a fat lip and cuts on my face and around my small breasts bruises that no one ever seen. My bottom was torn and bloody, I realized I had been raped by three guys.
What was I going to do?
I first showered, for like ever trying to wash off the posion that was in me as well as the dirt that I couldn’t get off, I sat and cried in the shower. For many hours I sat and tried to think what had happen, why had this been done to me? What I could have done to bring this on myself. I never reported it, how could I tell the Navy I was raped, how could this happen to me?

My parents don’t know, I couldn’t share that with anyone, I’d sit near the ocean and cry because I never intended to become a rape victim that night. I never knew the humilation I had experienced that evening, how would I explain to someone I was raped as a young man. I had myself tested for everything, it was a precaution and I wanted to know if ...I never washed clothes again off base, I always had someone with me till the day I left the Navy. I was afraid of it happening again, because I went back by that house to see where it happen. Larry no longer lived there, his ship was back out to sea. And he took my virginity with him.I never told anyone till many years later, and there were only four people close enough to know that terrible evening, when I became a rape victim.

It has been nearly 21 years since that terrible day, I have learned so much from that experience but I am over the hate because it is something I can not dwell over. Those men knew what they were doing but didn’t know it would hurt me more emotionally for years.
I am stronger now in mind and body, and know I will not go somewhere by myself even now as a woman.

As a follow up:
I am so lucky to be alive because my rapist could have just as well murdered me and left me somewhere because no one would have missed me right away. So each time I think about what happen I thank the lord that he made sure I was safe to live another day.