Who am I, we are lost

Who am I, I often try to reason who I am and why I feel the way I do?
I wake up each and every morning, take off my night gown, and shower. Lotions and powder and I am feeling fresh. As I dress for the day, I slip into panties (I always have for the past 30 years, men’s underwear are so plain and uncomfortable), then I sit and decide whether I wear nylons or stockings with my socks. Silly as it sounds, I enjoy the feeling of being feminine whether I am in a suit or casual dress pants. I am not out yet, so I need to be careful of exposing my desire to be the woman I see everyday. Shauna is such a beautiful woman, I want her to have the best I can offer her and also protect her from harm as well. I am her male self, my name is Shawn and I too am lost. Shauna is delicate and so precious, where I am strong and I will continue to watch our back. We are a team her and I, which I am so thankful for each and everyday. Shauna is my soul sister; we share the same body as we have since birth.
I remember the first time she dressed, oh how awkward it was for me as a boy and also getting caught. I was taunted and teased by my family for wearing panties and dress; my parents (not my real Mom) had me wear the dress till it was time to go to bed. Shauna just continued to dress, but I was afraid of what would happen if we were caught again.So I compromised with her, I wore panties under the boy clothes and it wasn’t the need for sexual gratification either, it was to feel feminine.As my life progressed, I found that Shauna didn’t like getting dirty, rough housing with my brothers. I needed someone to explain what was going on physically and mentally because I was developing more like a teen girl, never heard my voice change like my brothers. I didn’t know what to think or who to tell my problems to, so I kept to myself for many years.
I look back now at our hard times, it’s amazing we have made it thus far. Marriage was something I wanted, and did for ten years, we never had children.
Shauna was still with me, and my ex wife brought her into the marriage in more ways than care to explain. We divorced and went our separate ways. I thank Shauna everyday for being there for me. Shauna was there for many different girl friends, she would try clothes on for them while Shawn sat waiting. Yes there are two of us here, as we always have been.
Women find my split souls crazy at first, but as the personalities arise Shauna always comes out ahead. I love that woman she brings the happiness out in me. She brings out the very best in us as well. I know it sounds crazy, two souls and one body but try to cope with what we have and you will understand more. As Shauna emerges into life more, I will always be here for her no matter what. I believe that is why God has me here, to protect her from harms way.

Shauna is very intelligent, caring and above all, she thinks ahead before she has me do something where I would just do it and find myself in trouble.
As I sit here typing this, Shauna is crying again, you see we are lost and there is no one out there that can help us, we will get through this. As I wipe our tears, we are looking forward to our future together we are alone here, we must look toward the future and see where we it leads us and only then we will be happy.

Shauna is crying and it is hard to see, I need to be with her now...........