Doing the Fight

I have seen things in this world that stopped me in my tracks, gave me nightmares then I had a thought maybe I could help stop some of the terrible things make people aware whats going on.
So I started writing and not only did it help but it was the best therapy I could ever receive. 

I also experienced some of the worlds most wonderful moments, from the Olympics in Pusan to the wall falling in Germany. I have history where I been and will have more where I am going, this time I will do as my female self. As my partner stated Shawn is only there in case there is trouble I can care for myself in everything else. 
 
I write creative and from the heart, I don't mesh make believe I want only the truth for the reader deserves to see what I see. In my blog I have traveled the world over and shared some actually wonderful posts, regarding coming out and sharing a beautiful soul that people accepted,http://shaunabaggett.blogspot.com/ something for all in there.

I will continue to fight for whats right, really I can't stand ideally by and not do anything. This is for all of us, not just me. 

Now I am coming out to older acquaintances, there is lots of anxiety involved but no matter what hiding makes seeing someone you haven't seen in 20+ years harder. If they do not like the change then it wasn't a friendship, it was a someone in the crowd and I chose to move forward.
Just like family, either they accept or I never see them again negativity doesn't work for me, my life is hard enough worrying about something that small. 

So that you all are aware, I will be in a talk show concerning EQUALITY for the LGBTIQ, I have been invited I guess I am someone of importance though I don't feel that way, I am plain Shauna who loves my friends. Being an activist is quite a job I put myself out there to make people aware we are humans and plan on living our lives with them whether they like it or not and I love making it a point...it pleases me watching the defeat crumble and the blending of us into society making lives easier. I wish I could get out more, but I have other activist that do the out and about, someone needs to stay home and fight..that is where I come in :)

So what am I up too *smirking* you will have to wait and see, why spoil a chapter by reading forward, lets enjoy the book together..right?

Phantoms

In all my years I have never been unemployed so this is really a first for me, it has been a year almost which scares the hell out of me with transitioning and the medical bills piling up, I wish I was bi and find a man to take care of me but that isn't the case here now is it?

I am a true lesbian and I wouldn't have it any other way. At 47 years of age, I look like a typical dyke and I like it really I do. The ghosts still keep me on my toes and someday I will get proper care to rid these phantoms from disturbing me in my mind. I tell myself not to blame all men, 3 guys took my virginity and destroying all hopes of being myself. I shudder to think how cruel people are that they can do something so badly and not feel remorse. It has affected me in many ways which I find myself reacting in an aggressiveness manner when it comes to decisions. Men tend to touch that bad side of me, sorry to say a majority are just plain perverts chasing a tail for release.

I am very disappointed with myself, treating a perfect stranger as the enemy not knowing why or what I should have not said, but often times it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I play a game called Second Life, there I am myself, I am Shauna. I am a sub also for a woman who treats me badly at times and tell myself that would be the last time she treated me badly, that isn't the case I always go back because even though she treats me bad she is also giving me the attention I need. The men there have proven to me that they are nothing but pigs, time and again some guy will make a statement towards me. If I could I slap his face for being so rude, or let the male aggression rise so I can take 10 years of a bad marriage out on him.

Life isn't a bowl of happiness, it isn't the white picket fence in front of the cottage that we all have dreamt of when we were children. This life isn't what I expected but I am making the best of it with my dreams. So with that said, someday I will be working, and a therapist will rid the ghosts of my past. Hopefully I don't grow to old to care anymore, because after all that is what I know how to do.

I need a eye lift, not enough sleep

I read 1000+ blogs a week trying to help all that is distress other than myself, I found a site tonight that posted not only my site but everyone I know and much more.

The link is http://t-central.blogspot.com/ A comprehensive listing of Trans-Related Bloggers and News Sites.

Omg that is one lengthily site of sites, now I will never sleep. There are way too many people in dire need of my words and shoulder to cry on, better get me a bigger towel to wipe the tears for them.
I also read the queer news, the LGBT for teens, Chocolate blog, makeup and styles blogs, omg shoes blogs, which leaves me with technology as well. So you see I am a very busy person who really needs to shuck off my wings soon, or put back on my special jacket with the tying sleeves.

As I end this little tid bit of a post, I just would like to say to each of you. Life is a journey for all of us, and in it's path we have detours and hazards that only we can bring us back to that path, I believe in adventure that is how I got here today and began sharing some really incredible stories to each and everyone of you.

You see my journey will end one day, but I will come back and help who ever needs me to get them back on track.

Live life to it's fullest and don't look back, we are here for a reason so have fun. That is all I ask of you.

Good night

Did you see him??

I believe I am the first to post my male photo on a blog, what harm is it and why should I hide such a wonderful man. He has done so much for people and for me as well, he kept me from harms way and he continues to do so without my asking. Gentle and kind is the best I can describe of him, hard headed at times but he will give you the shirt off his back in the dead of winter so you won't be cold.
He has a good heart, never to say no to anyone that is in need that is why he is such a wonderful man.

Yes he is my male soul and I love him so much, and I am not embarrassed or afraid of what people will say to us if they see our photos. I am liberated to share my personal thoughts and myself who wishes to know, I have nothing to hide anymore!


Today I completed the update on the website OPALGA which I volunteered to do because I didn't know much of how to do it but it still was something I wanted to learn, and you know what I became their webmistress, I like the sound of that title. Volunteering for things that are important is something I do best. Next week Monday, I will be sharing my coming out to the LGBT youths of Oak Park, Illinois.

I was asked by the teens if I would and I said yes of course. To describe my adventure of the years gone by will be my biggest challenge besides living and I am just finding out what that really means lately.

As I look into my future I have big plans for myself, SRS and scalp reduction are two of them but the body modifications I wish to have will also bring out the beauty in me. Not saying much because with everything there is a price and I have to discuss it with Shawn and the doctor first.

Also I am seeking a career change, I want to teach since I am really good with children and teens I believe I can help make a difference in this world. If I could teach them computers that would be fantastic but if it were another subject such as history or English I would like to do that too.

So when you see the two of us on a site or you see either of us on the street, say hello, Shawn loves to talk and I love to listen. So here is to us, trying to help all that we can along the road of our journey.

Thank you for stopping by.....

What types of education do Americans need to understand?

The NTAC.org and PSA.org has a commercial that should run here in the United States to help the uneducated people that don't understand why we are people just like them. I don't have the equipment to push this information over the air like other countries but I do publish what I feel is right. The society lives behind a curtain of male and just female because of organizations feeding them a line of misinformation which should be stopped. Here is the video that could very well start the education process.



Then you have places like New York and Illinois that are trying to make it simpler for the transgender community. See we aren't porn stars or freaks of any types. We are people just like you who wish to live our lives in the body and mind which is aligned perfectly. I can go on and on about what isn't right in my mind but there are many like me who just would like to see their lives be normal for them.

WHY IS THERE HATE "?"

I need to say this because it involves everyone under the sun which is something I need to understand just what and why we are this way?

Growing up you learn to accept who you are which brings me to this question, who trains you to hate the people around you? Killing a person because they are different truly doesn't make any kind of sense. We as individuals are different, we need this because to be the same we would be quite boring.

How can you play god and take a life?

Too many questions with no answers is what I am getting. The word hate isn't used in my vocabulary because I wasn't brought up that way, I may dislike but never hate because that is such a strong word.

I am different which I really like, to be like me you would have to love everyone even the people who do not like me. I have no discrimination to anyone because we are all humans we make mistakes but we are the same. What I am trying to get at is why someone can feel such a strong word and act on it.
Take another persons life because he or she is expressing who they are, this world we live in must find a method to correct the hate and until then we will have to solve this problem and resolve it before the HATE turns ugly.

We are all the same, color, sex, weight, religion, politics, no matter how you stack it up we are all the same because we are human. We as humans have a choice to be who we are but we are not God and we do not have the decision to take what is not ours.


Let us find a way where we can become friends and if we have indifference's can we work together and solve it before we take a life?

That is all I am asking?