A wonderful and dear friend of mine wrote a piece on SRS which was extremely moving, a natural woman seen what the process was that we must face when we decide to to go through the whole process. It isn't something as easy as getting stitches. 


Quoting from her " I just watched a 10 min time lapsed gender affirming surgery (or sex reassignment surgery) and OMG wow! It brought tears to my eyes - and not for the reasons you may think, I am a nurse after all! I am in awe of what the surgeons can do and how amazing the outcome is. I am thankful to be born a genetic female, I am thankful to have experienced many but not all of the joyful and painful milestones of being a woman. I love being a woman, I love women, I love being married to a woman. Some women see childbirth as a true mark of womanhood, I would say any woman that has this surgery earns her "stripes" also. The physical, social and spiritual aspects of "transition" is a journey to behold."


 

***I have lived my whole life of having my very own yet it can not be seen, it is behind a wall of skin and many years of emotions knowing I could have had been a total woman had nature been kind but have since grown to appreciate life more. One day the science community will make it normal and I will see what I have missed if I had missed anything at all. I long for the waking in the recovery room as so many others before me has but this isn't about having a VJJ this is about knowing mine is finally uncovered. To have known that I may have been able to give life from within always will be a sacrifice I keep but in the end it was worth it, I lived and that is worth more to me than all the battles I have fought. Small wars, things people only hear about and they were nothing but a blockage for my journey I did not prevail I pushed forward my journey will not end until my ashes are laid to rest upon the waters of the ocean. Then there I will continue in spirit to guide others.*** 

 


The video below features extremely clarifying, eye-opening, unsensationalized, medically matter-of-fact, step-by-step footage of the procedure for transforming the skin and tissues of a penis into a vagina. I think it is must-see. Of course, this is footage of graphic surgery and obviously features genitalia. So, be advised if you are too squeamish about blood and other bodily tissues. But personally, I think anyone trying to overcome default ingrained mental habits of thinking that there is an absolute difference between penises and vagina's needs to see this.
Not for the faint of heart : http://youtu.be/Y1vKT4JEcDc

Whats the Big Deal?

Why is it such a big deal of coming out?

I am my own person that would love the support of family and friends but if they aren't in tune then I will look like some type of fagot that wishes to wear womens clothes.

Coming out to my step mother was the hardest things I have ever done, the cold stone look she gave me was the type of look that makes people stay in the closet.

I will never forget it nor what she said when she did it. Why can't you just be gay, I don't want you parading around my work with your dress on.


??? What, have I already done this?

For over thirty five years I have worn female clothes, no one said a thing, even my ex's never said one word. Every pair of jeans, tops and underwear are female.

I made the bold statement, I am out of the closet and I am perceived as a fairy wearing womens clothes.

Who are you to judge me?

I am the same person you knew a minute ago yet the wrapper changed so that changed me?

I will tell you, it doesn't matter what you say or how you judge me. I am happy to be alive and where I can make the decision to make things right no matter the costs or who's heart I break.

It took almost a year for my stepmother to accept me, I would have cared less because I don't live my life for others.

Accept me for who I am not how I dress, or what I look like. I am a human, a person with deep feelings for others, listening is what I do best because I do care.

Everyday since I was eleven I have struggled with not being 100% female, 78% doesn't cut it because now as I sit typing this out I try to make things right. Some say I am lucky to be female inside, that it makes it easier to transition but they are so wrong. I have to be watched over medically for many diseases that women face.

Transitioning is the same for all of us, some have the funding which makes it easier, others are like me where a little goes a long way but all in all, we are the same.

So don't let others judge you because you are who you are, lets face it, everyone is different because they just are. My stepmother has struggled with her weight since I was 12 years old, she has the body of a pear but I don't make remarks about her and believe me I could come up with some really great fat jokes.

Just live your lives the way you intended to, and if someone snickers or makes remarks, ignore them.

Life is too short to hide someone so sweet.

Living as I am, not the gender

I don't think I ever considered my gender to be a problem, I was neither boy nor girl so if asked, I was just me. To put a title on a person who is born with both genitals is like asking if a car that is two tone is black or white.

Lately I have been reading a lot of new blogs concerning children with issues just like us, a little girl age of three stating she is a boy or a boy similar age saying he is a girl. It is truly amazing over the last decade how more and more trans people are coming out not like while I was growing up with no knowledge or groups whom I could socialize with to learn how to cope with my issue.

I wish sometimes I was trans, I believe it would be easier in many ways and this constant reminder each month reminds me I am truly different than anyone I have ever met. A male friend of mine and I were talking which I said I needed to put on my estrogen patch so not to cause any indifference in my body chemistry and he couldn't understand that if I don't maintain the estrogen that I could get awful ill again. So I simply explained it to him, which he finally grasped what I was telling him. My body isn't producing it as much as it used to so I have patches and booster shots maintaining the constant estrogen my female side needs. The problem I am having with the patches is I am allergic to the adhesive which causes a rash. So I cut the glue off and attach a bandage instead which stopped the rashes. The things I do to be just normal everyday is amazing.

These days I have to question myself when applying for work, the last thing the employer asks is whether I am a male or female or (not answer at all), which I often do because I can not answer honestly with their question. I don't think I am wrong or being difficult it is just the wording that is bad. There should be something there besides male and female but that will have to wait when society accepts that there are different genders other than the two common ones. Its not sex its gender, 89% female and 11% male how would you answer such a stupid question?

I want to say good luck with your operation Véronique, (my sis) I do love and care about you more than you know. Whether you had the surgery or not, you have always been a woman to me.

So whats new, the holidays were wonderful though I was totally broke but that didn't effect anyone's joy. My coming out 2 years ago stopped my father from calling me sis, never hear it anymore and you know what, I am glad too. He has on occasion made statements like she is here, or there she is (me) which makes me smile. Whether he is doing it as a joke or not, it makes me happy that he actually acknowledges it.

Time for me to go look for more work, wish someone would hire me even just contracting so I have a reason to get out of bed.

If this is like retirement, I never want to retire.