Giving up on everything to become my female self is such a sacrifice why can't I just continue just in a different appearance? I have been asked more times than I wish to comment, "am I gay?" since I have come out that I am transgendered, and each time the same reply "I will be once I am female". Being a true lesbian, I like women as a man would and god knows as a woman also. My sexuality never changed with the different gender. As a woman, it will be tougher to find a partner I believe but maybe not and what part am I to be? Femme or butch, and why a label?
Why does sexuality play a key part of who I am, gender is not sexuality but like all improper education, society plays the two as one. That is like saying since you are male you are truly straight right? I beg to differ! No, the two do not have anything to do with the other. I often whisper to my father after he makes crude remarks towards me that I am sorry I am this way, and that it isn't anybody’s fault it's just something as a person I have lived with for so long. Being GID isn't easy as some may think, having Gender Identity Disorder isn't curable by any means and I knew I had it well before I had seen a therapist or doctor.
So why must I give up on my present life to be Shauna, she is me as I am her, one body, two souls. She is a better person by all means; she is what made me as I am today. I also like how she dresses, so vibrate and I'm just in awe when I see her.
You do know how expensive it is to buy fashion and keep up with the trends don't you? Imagine just for a moment OK, that you had to purchase two wardrobes the men's and the women's.
Men's fashion is nothing, casual slacks of beige, brown, black and blue then a polo shirt or button down and wham you are complete. Oh wait and a belt but not really, my brother wrapped packing tape around his waist since he didn't have a belt on hand to keep his pants on. You really don't have to shave since it looks great on some and the hair, a swipe of the comb through the hair and it’s done. You can mix and match each piece of clothing with the same belt and shoes, no assembly required.
Now look at a woman's wardrobe and you find a rainbow of many colors, designs, lengths which would make you breathless trying to find what to wear for that one occasion because mind you there is a outfit for each gathering of the day. Now you can not stop there with the clothes, you must and I mean MUST accessorize with a watch, bracelet, necklace, earrings are just a few then a broach or scarf to emphasize the wardrobe is very helpful.
Wait we aren't through yet not by a long shot. Let us grab a pair of shoes, omg that will be something to be sure we have the right shoes with the right purse with the proper belt and coordinate the whole ensemble in less than an hour. Now that we have an outfit, makeup must be applied the right colors to match the outfit is a must as well as the hair which also has so much to do with the whole outfit. All in all the total time can be like 2 hours tops, not like the man where it took twenty minutes.
See both genders are different! I have lived with them both and have wondered many times how did they ever get along? What is gender and what does sexuality have to do with it?
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