Tic, toc, tic, toc

Here we go again with these clocks turning back for what more sunshine? I wish they would leave the time alone, it is hard enough transitioning without the reminder of a clock.
I gave a lot of thought to my transition and what it means to me. My mind is awakening to different ways of thinking, now I ponder whether I can do things and find careful ways of accomplishing the task at hand. Prior to my transition I would just do it and hurt myself, I can thank Shawn for the flat feet and broken back.

My friends often ask me what my intentions are regarding my dating, to be a woman and date women doesn't make sense to them. Does it have to?
I mean this is what I want not what they are seeking. I am not any different than I had been a male, I am who I am, as the person who always was the female under a layer of maleness.

It isn't just the happiness I have achieved, it is something more like I belong here. Where is here? In my body and soul I am at peace finally with my female gender, it has taken me so many decades to reach out and grasp the feeling of full womanhood. I am her, my name is Shauna and I earned it because that is who I am.
I now have friendships like I had often cried about as a teen, I have girlfriends who have bonded with me, omg the emotional baggage I left on the start of my transition has really made my journey lighter. I do miss the male bonding, the jokes and laughter and the serious moments too but that all ended when my male friends found out who I actually was, I still apologize for misleading them but that is water under the bridge, we had to cross it to get where we are today.

My sexual preference has nothing to do with changing my gender, I wish some of my family and friends could understand this.
I had always made jokes that the butt was considered the other vagina but that was Shawn's sense of humor, I am totally lesbian not gay in the way I need a man in my life. I am straight as a male, funny how I had changed my sexual preference to lesbian for Shauna.
I really don't think about sex, don't need it constantly as my male friends, the cuddling and embracing is what I really enjoy and being loved is all I ask for.

Today I am experiencing discomfort to my breasts because of E (electrolysis) the tenderness is a reminder this is part of my path and each time I see the area which I often touch I have felt silkiness and softness of my skin. Hair belong to the male species, I am not nor have I been a male which I can honestly say to me hair is yucky.

Ok ok I am rambling on about nothing now, lol, time to look for a job, do my hair, nails and shop for a new bra.