Who are you calling a girly girl?

I have been accused of being a girly girl, I love fashion, shoes, purses, cosmetics and fitness to make all this work together. It is like being a man's man but I am that as a woman. So I guess I am a girly girl and I love it too.

Ok, simple question. Why is it that when you go shopping for that sweet pair of jeans or that fantastic top it is ALWAYS a skinny gg modeling it and then you put it on with those fantastic heels and it doesn't look like the model? UGH!

Have you looked at the catalogs like Victoria Secrets, Frederick's of Hollywood (best undies), Newport News and the countless others selling a product that I would die for and found I don't look half as great in it. This will have an answer later :)

I believe that is why so many women purge their meals and are so anorexic, or the liposuction appointments to fit into the clothes that the catalogs sell.

I have a habit of watching how women walk, what they are wearing, how they accessorize and how they apply their makeup. The best places are when you shop, whether it is groceries to clothing it really doesn't matter, I am learning.

So I get a pair of loose boyfriend jeans which by the way look fantastic if you are layered on top with a cami, tunic and wearing gym shoes, no matter what that is so sexy and women do it all the time. All purses seem to go with what is present but there too you will need to be careful, some of those bags are too big for my liking. Why some are so huge you can store a canoe in. Then there are the cute bags that just fit just right, I wish I had purchased the bags with the shoes but this woman just didn't know it at the time. Now try matching a bag with the shoes not as easy as you may think. Like accessories, if you have the garment or shoes with you the accessories fit perfectly, not so if you blindly have to look for it then again that is why we call it shopping.

This brings me to the subject also of other transsexuals, the younger crowd make me jealous as heck with their cute bodies strutting their stuff while us older ladies try to just fit in. Oh you will never see me in a skirt so small that air is poking at my bottom especially in the dead of winter. Long dresses are great for that but I would prefer to wear tights with a nice long tunic or dress that would look fine with tights. Jeans are my number one favorite, it shows my curves and the bubble butt I have which by the way can turn heads on men and women alike. That is what makes me want to be seen, the excitement of just being who I am and getting smiles from whom I meet.
I was asked by a girlfriend and her husband if I was going to do the winter walk with them this year, this is a tradition for them which I was pleased she asked me. This is a walk where you look at the decorations of the homes and stores, and enjoy free cocoa and treats. There are sled rides and singing for the winter holidays. Now what has me all excited is what am I to wear for this, I thought of black jeans, winter boots no heal with faux fur on them, layered in a T shirt, white cardigan sweater, mittens and a suede leather coat with a hood faux fur attached. I am giddy just picturing it in my head. As crazy as this sounds, I hope I turn a few men around to check me out :) Do you believe that, what is wrong with me?


To be like so many other TS's out there like myself to feel natural dressed in tight jeans and heels, our makeup is flawless and hair long and natural. Every minute of everyday I am a woman who wishes to live free and not be pointed out impersonating who I wish to be.

Nothing in this world gave me more joy than when I found out why I was different, why I wasn't like my brothers though I wasn't prepared to live two lives and the costs were high.
How so you may be asking, two lives meant two wardrobes, two closets filled with shoes which would match a store. Those little anklets, pumps, sandals, wedges and boots of every color and every style has cost me a small fortune but they aren't for sale, no way! I own two purses, one clutch and one handbag. With that said, the makeup and perfumes I have purchased just to look fabulous took a chunk of my bank account too. The little costs to be beautiful. Then we have the male wardrobe, suits, dress slacks and belts of every color which isn't something you pull off the rack, no ma'am each suit is fitted and tailored. As a man I had to look good, just like being the woman I am today, nothing makes me feel as wonderful as fitting in.

After seeing what can be done to my body with liposuction, I am all for that. Who wouldn't want a tummy and waist tuck, the bathing suit sure would fit better and lets not forget what a gown or dress would look like on this frame. There are some risks involved but in order to look great so have to be able to handle the risks right and I will finally get the hour glass figure that my $400 corset could never give me, damn I sound like every girl out in the world with this spending to look beautiful. The only draw back from the flat tummy will be the scar I have from a gallbladder in '80' that is eight inches long that is so ugly that I cringe when I am undressed, and also the back scar for which I broke my vertebra back in '92' what will they do to hid those.

I just want to be me, still the person I have loved from behind the mirror. I will have to wait and see what the hormones produce in five more months, then the doctor can give me my answers.

Superficial maybe, happiness absolutely and I will then be the woman I have always wanted to be, not a model mind you but a woman who loves to turn heads especially when I was a man.

Boring Sunday and FFS

What a gloomy Sunday, I have been thinking of all that I would want for my life to be different. A real good friend of mine just had a major facial upgrade she is looking so hot so I was looking into FFS, for some of you who do not know what that is Feminine Facial surgery. I would so much like the hairline to be straight, then I was looking into softening my cheeks, chin and make my nose smaller. Even though I think I am just being silly crying about something I do not need. Just the scalp reduction and tighten up my face and I will be set. I know I am not model material and I have to work on this body too, so much a woman has to do to look great.

I would so very much love to look like my sister, to see her you would understand she is absolutely beautiful. Every feature picture perfect and that is what I would like.

I have often wondered if changing my face would cause a drastic way people would take me serious or not, I so want to look beautiful but I am not 20 something either. So what are my options? Surgery, bite the bullet and say hell with it I look great! I will have to ponder this as I progress each month on hormones.

This is what happens to you when you sit around thinking all the time and there isn't anything to do. My SRS isn't for some time which was my decision because of all that my inner body is going through, I wanted to wait to see if I was well enough for something so final.

I am so look forward to being the woman I have sought for so long, but with that I think I will loose some privileges as well that male friends have. Though I will have my female privileges as well.

But before I can think about all this overalls I have to get back to work which I miss more than anything. Not just pay the bills but just be working, interchanging with people I do miss that. Oh well so much for the boohooing today, hormones does that.

Well back to cleaning and rearranging the house, I wonder if I made room for that damn tree this year. See you all soon, time to tackle the pantry some old stuff needs to find the garbage can ;)