Please come out don't hide

I was asked by www.opalga.com to do a talk to the gay and lesbian teens regarding Intersex and who I am, I have always wanted to do this and it will be my first for teens and young adults. Actually even though I am excited I am frighten too, why, well it is my second time talking to people who are willing to listen. I am an active activist but teens are so much different. So I decided to read my speech and answer questions afterward.

"My name is Shauna, I was born with intersex. What is Intersex you may be wondering? The condition I was born with is called Ovotestes which are best described as having a partial uterus, one ovary, one testes and breasts. So I thought of other body deformities - birth defects, visible and invisible. Do we say to children with facial deformities or congenital heart disease, 'God doesn’t make mistakes, so you should remain the way you were created? Of course not!' How, then, is my condition different? Is it because you cannot see my birth defect? Do you simply disbelieve me when I tell you there was a discrepancy between my body and my mind, present from my earliest memory and which I did not choose? Do you think I’m lying or misinformed? I have lived in this body for decades and I can tell you that it was not my choice to have this discrepancy. "I agree that God does not make mistakes. I believe God allowed this discrepancy in my life for reasons I do not understand, but God also gave me the way to resolve the problem. I believe God loves me even though some of those who claim to speak for God do not love or respect me.

"I realize that your life experience is not like mine. I know that you cannot understand this birth defect I am describing, any more than I can understand what it is like to be color blind, for example. But that doesn’t make my problem any less real.

"So, let me offer this hope that we can accept one another’s differences and take comfort in our shared faith in a loving God?"

I met Shauna when I was very young, she is my soul sister, we share the same body as we have since birth. Shauna is such a beautiful woman, I want her to have the best I can offer her and also protect her from harm as well. I am her male self, my name is Shawn and I too was lost. Shauna is delicate and so precious, where I am strong and I will continue to watch our back. We are a team her and I, which I am so thankful for each and everyday.
I remember the first time she dressed, oh how awkward it was for me as a boy and also getting caught. I was taunted and teased by my family for wearing a dress; my parents (not my real Mom) had me wear the dress till it was time to go to bed. Now to her that was my punishment, (laughs) Shauna just continued to dress, but I was afraid of what would happen if we were caught again. So I compromised with her, I wore panties and camisole under the boy clothes and it wasn’t the need for sexual gratification either, it was to feel feminine. As my life progressed, I found that Shauna didn’t like getting dirty, rough housing with boys. I needed someone to explain what was going on physically and mentally because I was developing more like a teen girl, never heard my voice change like my brothers. I didn’t know what to think or who to tell my problems to, so I kept to myself for many years.I served in the Navy, was a victim to rape and yet I am still the same happy person you see before you. Anger is something that needs not to be held on to as I learned to forgive but not forget.
I look back now at our hard times, it’s amazing we have made it thus far. Marriage was something I wanted, and did for ten years, we could never have children.
We divorced and went our separate ways. I thank Shauna everyday for being there for me. Women find my split souls crazy at first, but as the personalities arise Shauna always comes out ahead. I love that woman; she brings the happiness out in me. She has brought out the very best in us as well. I know it sounds crazy, two souls and one body but try to cope with what we have and you will understand more. As Shauna emerges into life more, I will always be here for her no matter what. I believe that is why God has me here, to protect her from harms way. And that is our story.I hope this isn't too much for teens, I am what people used to consider a oddity of nature but I feel I am unique.
Hopefully I will teach them that in this society things are easier than when I was their age and it will help them gain confidence in moving forward. Nothing in this world makes me disappointed than having to see myself in the faces of the teens I am speaking to. No one should hide who they are and what they are born with, my oddity forced me into a closet which protected me from who knows what but I was safe and miserable at the same time. All the good years past but with that said I have many more to enjoy. I have been successful yet alone. Now I have friendships and I am broke, but I have friends and so much love.
As long as I can help, I have found my true calling and I will always listen to others less fortunate than I am because it makes me happy making them feel good.