About being a woman not a "T"

So anyway I was reading some blogs and visiting friends on Face book and I came upon a video I believe you will enjoy as much as I did. The woman made perfect sense regarding being T to being genetic. I will not spoil her video, I just wish to share it with you.





Then one other thing regarding employment something I miss so very very much besides being out of the house is shopping this should explain what I want so badly.

Well enough of the wishes, hope all of you are happy and doing well. Me, I am happy and getting along just fine. Love you all.

Would you walk in my shoes?

As I prepared the day I went out with my new 3 1/2 wedge boots, they are absolutely precious, when I am in them I can not help looking down at my cute feet. I have to be careful, I need to waterproof them or they will get damaged.

This post isn't about my beautiful exquisite collection of shoes, that will come another day. This is about the person who walks in them. My turmoils of everyday life fighting with fears and the unknowns as I have for 36 years.

I just posted a entry about the woman who asked me a question regarding the girl in me and it really hurt, something that I never think about because lets face it, what can I do that I am already doing. I am trying to correct the issue and I will, but like everything you want it takes time. I can not take a magic pill to erase all the male out of me, it will take time. The only magic patch I have is estrogen and every 8 weeks a booster shot to level my hormones out and keep me in tune.

A couple months ago another woman whom I worked with said to me "why change yourself, you are a very handsome man and you don't walk like a woman", why change myself hmm? I looked at her, smiled and said I'm not changing anything I am myself and besides dressed as a man would it look proper to have a swivel in my hips when I walk? I am like you, but having a male exterior I am different to you, learn to live with it and left it as that.

That to me is a hater or someone whom doesn't understand what is in my mind, doesn't she get it that is how it is, and if I could fix it maybe not, it is who I am.

If someone were to inquire what it is like to become me for one month, slip on a pair of my shoes and become Shauna, you will find it isn't such a lovely way of life. You will get a cycle which many of my friends cringe at the thought of that. The constant changing of pads, the not so fresh feeling I get when it is that time. There the loneliness because lets face it, I wouldn't put anyone through this whether we love each other or not. Everyday is a learning experience really, my emotions are tested as well as my sanity. There are looks and stares because they do not know how to address you and when they do sir doesn't fit. Imagine all your friends finding out that you have a little secret that not only will change your life but theirs as well, you are no longer the gender they perceived you were and that changes how they will act around you. All my male friends have a bond, it is special and I no longer am a part of that excluded from such things which I really miss.

When you are around my brothers it isn't fun and games, they are uncomfortable knowing that their older brother was always their older sister. People will look at you, try to understand and shake their heads and ask you why, why are you that way?

Life is how you make it, mine is different but I relish the days that were good and learned from the days that were bad. I love living, with that said I live it to it's fullest.

I will be legally on paper in 2009 as Shauna Elizabeth, that is such a welcome sight to me after all these years to be female on my records. *sniff*


Can I have my shoes returned please ;)

The morning of Thursday

As my day began I went looking for employment, here I am a network engineer with 20 years experience and the really wonderful customer service skills and nothing, crap there goes a perfect day.
Off to electrolysis for maintenance of the baby hairs over my neck and body. Kelly is my E girl and she is wonderful, as she prepares me for my session I get relaxed for the tiny needle to find that hair and cause me to cry out. Kelly applies a hot moisten wash cloth to the areas before the procedure, this will open the pores and loosen the follicle for easy release.

Kelly then applies LIDO 4% on the area as she talks and soothes my mind, the product numbs the skin so it hurts less. I had fallen asleep again while she pulled little hairs out of my breasts area and neck. I awoke to a hairless body and feel wonderful. She is the best and I should know,
I have given her a $1000 to be sure this body stays hair free and with no pain. I adore her because she is the best electrolysis around. She will seek out the hair, feeling her way like a blind person to the next area to be cleared. I have had different treatments which I will not even get into.

I grab some lunch at subway, today is BMT day and I can not pass up a great sub as that just thinking of it makes my mouth water, the lettuce so fresh it crunches with each bite. The peperoni, ham and salami makes a fantastic lunch. I head to my truck, I have one more errand and that is to return two pair of cute boots that are an 1/2 inch to small and the height is too low. This girl is picky about shoes, though when I see something I like I get 2 pair that explains why I have so many :)
The sales girl never gives me a hard time, and she knows they are for me, since they are a size 11. Very warm personality she has and is very helpful when it comes to me and my shoes. With that out of the way I am off to have lunch, look for a job and write my book to pass the day away.

I wish I can go back to work, I miss the people and the money. :(

The boots...

I am on the lookout for 2 pair of boots, below the knee and calf type. OMG I purchased 2 pair just recently, gorgeous boots but there is always a but, they are an inch too small. I had forgotten that when pursing BOOTS compared to SHOES they need to be an inch bigger, damn. Big toe is hurting something awful.

Fashion is a biggie and causal is another, the fashion will be the knee boots to tuck my pants in or wear with my straight leg low rise jeans and the casual for wearing even after it snowed. A great pair of heels will make your posture better since it forces you to stand straight, also raises your bottom and juts it out.
I found 2 pair of boots, the kind I want at a great cost. http://www.shoebuy.com/easy-street-softie-ii/209072 is one pair, gorgeous soft supple and I am already yearning for them. Want to hear me squeal :)
The second boot same location http://www.shoebuy.com/easy-street-kelly/209074, rugged and sturdy also very practical for everyday wear.

I have an issue now, http://www.shoebuy.com/aerosoles-blue-gene/268244, is the anke type of boot I need so the question I need to work on which two pairs would be the best.

What do you think?