Transition and Education

The realization that I am transitioning slowly is painstaking, wondering always what will be out there when all the modifications are complete. Knowing what I know and watching all these years has been an experience which has taught me so much. I am both man and woman, the male gender on the outside which I can honestly say is a whole different world being insensitive and crude at times to achieve greatness and be liked by all, it is a power struggle always. My female gender showed me what the difference is between the two, made me more sensitive and emotional of what was happening around me. I am more connected to women than to men because that is how I programed myself.

People need to realize that gender is not sexuality not even close, it is male or female cut and dry. That is why when I came out the first thing people asked was if I were gay, society in general doesn't have the education where it needs to be in this day and age to think being gay is the same as changing genders. All the Jerry Springer shows aren't an education for anyone, it is very misleading.
So with that my transition of becoming my beautiful self is a life long journey, it isn't taking pills or operations to make me beautiful it is the person I am slowly developing into, a lovely lady I know I am.
All my friends and siblings accepted me for who I was, now with that said my parents are the people who made me uncomfortable about my coming out. Again it is the education that made this hard, I am here I believe to educate people the differences but I have to overcome the issues at home first.

I once tried to leave this world early because no one would listen to me, I failed as a person I wanted to be. Though I am here today was because I believed in myself and went into hiding. For thirty five years I watched and struggled with my identity and waited for the right time to say "hey world I am a woman who wants to be free of this constant pain and sadness". I waited and watched, learned what I can and played it safe to become who I am. I am free to do as I please and I am not hurting anyone in this process even though some people my think that I am.
My transition has been slowly modifying my body to match my mind that is how it works, it will take 2 years to a lifetime of completion which I am prepared to do in order to be happy.

If you think that there is a miracle procedure to complete this, you are absolutely wrong. To transition into a woman or man you must first teach your mind to work like that gender. Imagine being male for 40 or so years even though you were born with a male body and female mind, you are taught not to be a female. You are taught to be a male which so many others like myself didn't want that. Now we step back to the present and we are learning all over again. Like puberty if you will, the transition slowly develops the mind to work with that person to become the gender they were supposed to be.

That is where GID comes into place, Gender Identity Disorder which is a true medical term for someone like me. If this wasn't me why would I put myself out there exposed for all the world to see, I know this is who I am.

I am here now, alive, well and most importantly happy because I am who I am