Where is she.......?

Sometimes I feel like a child, watching the world unfold before my eyes the wrongs over power the rights and yet I can't help wonder why I get up every morning to start this over again. This afternoon I laid down and listened to 15 Concerto in D major No. 116_ Ariothis is one place no one can hurt others or me for that matter.

So here I am well and happy, the cancer is gone but I have blood clots, not to worry all is under control with blood thinners which I am watched over like a piece of raw meat from vultures *giggling* 

Since returning to Chicago with a promise of a new job which did not take place I accepted a position that lied to me from the beginning, Printer Support Specialist that turned out to be nothing more than a glorified secretary job. The manager whom I have no clue had hired me only to write me up for being ill and then losing that position. What a bitch but hey, I can't make everyone happy no matter how hard I try.

As of March 2012, it became legal on paper I am a genetic female, my hormones are that of a female and medically assured that I can have everything fixed on paper. Funny, well not really but I have been saying this from day one and all it took was a simple test in the 21st century to show I was telling the truth, its not a phase.

I have been poked, prodded slide after slide looking at my chromosomes and blood, a booster shot of Estrogen and poof I am balanced and the world is in trouble *giggling again*. The blood findings were the best tested for testosterone and I am at 125, a male should be at 300 -700. Estrogen I am at 45, an average female my age is 25 - 75. The chemo altered my hormones and everything was at a stand still till the doctor injected me, no more mood swings but the usual crying comes and goes. I am injected every 2 weeks now, and the results are truly amazing....I have breasts *smiling* and I am proud of them too. I was told I have no prostrate which leaves me in awe, how can that be over looked all these years. I knew I was sterile after having been tested when I was married and I had always said I was so over joyed not to have had children with my ex. 

The tests of a Pet Scan, CT Scan, and MRI found no clues of where the cancer went like nothing at all invaded my body. Blood work after blood work and everything in back to normal, even the damage in the wake of the tumor which ate the bone housing the nerve is repaired healed on it's own, no surgeries needed.

My hair has grown back, eye lashed and eye brows have returned, no hair on my legs *giggling* or anywhere else I am thankful for as well. The only thing is the clots which I will watch carefully, where are these you are wondering. One is in my right leg near my groin, and two in my left lung. I will let you know if there is any changes.

As an active activist I have been rewarded as a celebrity of sorts people are looking to me as their role model because I inspire them with this thing that was given to me...my life. Yes it has been hell, crazy at times though I over came these issues. When you want something as bad as life you fight for it, I am a fighter and could not give up . Besides there are hundreds of people I would have caused despair had something had happen to me.

So am I walk and sit in my chair listing to the soulfulness of 15 Concerto in D major No. 116_ Ario I am drifting to somewhere away from here and I am at peace.

More to come....I have returned.