Surprises are in store for me

I have been so busy trying to get a new job that I haven't spent anytime with my friends or blog for that matter. Well I did get a job, and it is a wonderful position as a Network Administrator for a fairly large hospital which I have always been able to work in.
The medical field is my forte, the business world would be much more to my liking but I help who I can. I wish to leave this technical life someday and open a boutique with the help of my sister. This boutique will have a women's clothing line and spa which I will really enjoy because let's face it, what better place to share a large closet of my favorite clothes hehe.
Coming to terms with my two souls was my blessing but sharing with the world isn't what I expect, society in general is a very bad place for understanding.

Men and women do not understand what it is like to experience the punishment I have faced since birth being trapped in the wrong gender, who have no idea what persecution of what I suffer daily. I never asked to be born this way, it isn't something I would wish on anyone.
All I know is that society does not now understand fully what I feel, but atleast I know know deep inside I am surfacing soon to be whole and not as two souls.
Walking and driving as Shauna the transsexual isn't the same as Shawn the transsexual, because people say that when you are a transsexual you are gay which isn't true. That is wrong, I am not gay, I love women very much and I admire them though some do not care about themselves with the clothes they wear, hehe. To watch women, to observe how they walk, talk, eat, dress and carryon you would think I was an expert by now but in truth women are very complex and is not to be taught over night.
In a couple of weeks I am having my very first makeover, I am scared and excited at the same time. Scared only because I am finally emerging, standing up to what I have wanted for so long, to show the butterfly in me. I want the world to know I was born as Shauna, not what my parents presented the world, Shawn.
Now don't get that wrong because Shawn is a very good person and I love him very much. I believe it in my heart and soul I am Shauna, and I am beautiful as I always have been now with some color.
The excited part is not sexually, I want to know more about myself and be taught how to apply the right colors, how to style the hair and the makeup, how to pick the proper clothes as well. This is not about dress up, this is about what I am to be now as my future unfolds and express my feelings as Shauna for the first time in public, so yes I am very excited. Even with all of you, my friends standing there watching me, I can not say you can understand the changes my emotions are going through to finally spread my wings.
Oh I just wish people in general could understand, that that little girl growing up with her brothers may have been a boy to everyone else's eyes but in fact was a frighten little girl trying to understand why it had happen to her to be this way. I don't blame anyone, nor am I angry but I do want everyone to know this is how it is, I am now the woman I am meant to be and I want to be excepted!

So girls, when I have my overhaul hehe, I will finally share with you my beautiful image in all it's glory. To teach me how to apply the proper amount of makeup, and emerge as a beautiful creature instead of a silly clown, oh my here comes the tears, and dress not just in the panties and cami, but in every feminine attire I have always wanted to wear, I am so grateful oh yes so grateful there are women out there who care. Oh you will have to wait and see, damn emotions stop it. I will write again soon.
Thank you everyone...kisses