I have a secret on myspace

Here I am 46 years old and I have many friends, close friends a few, only a handful know that I have a secret, and that secret is Shauna. Each of you out here know of her, how she appeared one day as a cartoon, then a silly picture and then full blown photos, but I wrote about myself each time and wanted output of my future and what it held. I would have loved to experience the wholesome feeling of girl friends while growing up, the bondness, sharing ones thoughts, some of the things I wish I could had have.

I have been hiding, hiding because of not fear but because of disappointment, growing up as both girl and boy, how many of you have to go to an OB/Gyn for a checkup? When I was 11 or 12 my first visit to the stirups frighten the hell out of me, testing and probing can scare a child of any age.
I see the Ob/Gyn each year, sometimes more if needed. Today is one of them visits, I have a lump behind both my nipples the size of a pea, the milk ducts are swollen is what she said, (I have a rare case that is why I have small breasts) I needed to see my doctor because I was having tenderness again, my boobies were swollen and I couldn’t figure it out. Now I have some pills to shrink the swollenness.

Some may think it would be great to have my breasts, but ladies these are complicated. Not big enough to show off yet, and as bothersome as having the 34C I often dreamt about. So what I do is wear a soft cami or band aides to protect my nipples, this is to prevent chaffing and it works. I get thrown off sometimes writing these blogs.So I was saying, having these close friends help with my emotional twists and turns.
Having gg’s are the best sometimes because there is comfort, hugs and lots of talking to ease me through the trying times. So what I am about to do is hire a therapist ( my mother was my therapist) to ease me of my emotional rollercoaster, help me with what is going on in my head and finally take care of Shauna (Myself).

I give so much to everyone everyday and never give myself anything so now it is time for me.You all are my best friends, I love each of you like you were my sisters. Sally you are so sweet and such a cutey and your antics are fun to read. Christina, dare devil with a skirt and lovely legs, another who has some interesting stories. Roni my writer, ohh that keyboard is like a poisin pen. Mistress Zen, you are the one I turned to in the beginning and I finally escaped my hiding. Cadence the tiger, oh she is a fighter and oh so lovely. Yvette and Sarah are beautiful in thier words of encouragement. And all the others I did not mention because I would be typing all night.
But ladies you are my past, present and hopefully future. Each bring me joy whether you are writing me or writing about yourselves, and I really do enjoy the writings believe me I do.So this turned out as a thank you, not a blog about me. Thank you for being there, a girl couldn’t ask for more I just wish I could give each one of you a hug...one day

I will Love all of you always...Shauna