A good friend of mine wrote this which I answered as well

Gender Confirmation Surgery, SRS, or whatever you want to call it should not be taken lightly!

It can be the means to an end in more ways than one. When I had my surgery I met several women who I was amazed even got letters. They didn’t vibe as women, didn’t look like women, and I don’t hesitate to say many of these women will be in deep trouble should they ever lose their transition jobs. They reminded me of Gender Groupies. Those whose world revolved around Support Groups and transition. Yes they seemed elated with their surgeries, but once the thrill is gone how will they function?I have met in person or corresponded via email or on message boards with countless Post-Ops. I would say a large number are well-adjusted, assimilate flawlessly, and are very happy with their lives. Others feign happiness because it is the politically correct thing to do. Yet a keen observer can read between the lines. SRS did not solve their problems, and in some instances only exasperated them. Some remain very bitter. Some wallow in self-pity. Some drown themselves in alcohol and drugs. Some wander cluelessly around the country. Some lose jobs, family, and friends. Some completely lose touch with reality. Yet most of these women claim to be happy. I think the reality for some of these women is they *thought* SRS would make them a woman when they really needed to focus on intergrating into society first. Eventually many of these women will and I think their happiness will be sincere, but now some of those proclamations ring hollow to me

Before you reach the operating table, and even before you go full-time ask yourself some yes or no questions. (my answers - Shauna)

1) Do I or did I really enjoy sex as a male? love it and need, keeps my mind clear, though I have a bad time keeping an erection so now I don’t think about it.

2) Did I regularly get a sexual charge wearing women’s clothes? at first yes, but now it makes me what I am and I still don’t know how to use makeup.

3) Would I be happier as a woman if I never had another orgasm? I am happy to report I am orgasmic, but if I were not that would be okay too

4) Would I be happier as a woman even if I never could assimilate and was only seen as a transsexual? No. I would be just as miserable as I was before. I am comfortable telling certain people, but the ability to live my daily life without people harrassing me, gawking at me, or seeing me as a freak is crucial. I will make people uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable. Being able to fit into almost any situation is a key to me. "Male" or "Unpassable TS"? Not an option. That said I think some should ask themselves if they could live this way and be happy. If so, more power to you!

5) Am I transitioning due to pressure from others in the TS Community? No. I wasn’t involved with the TS or TG Community prior to transitioning. When I did seek support I remained steadfast in my beliefs, even if they conflicted with majority opinion. Even if they conflcited with long-term Post-Ops. Much to the chagrin of many in that particular community! The lesson being is that this was my journey and I am not about to succumb to peer pressure. I heed advice from a few I trust and admire, and discard the rest. You should do the same! If you disagree with what I say, by all means ignore it! I guess my biggest problem with this Community, and more specifically the umbrella TG Community, is how transition is often unrealistically glamourized in such a way that it lures crossdressers, fetish AG transvestites, and others into taking these drastic steps. It happens. The peer pressure is immense! Men are rushing off to get SRS and the repurcussions in my opinion will be felt in years to come. Who will be hurt? Those true victims of transsexualism who follow us 10-20 years from now. Stop the madness and march to your own drummer!

6) Am I prepared to lose my family and friends? No I don’t, but I know this will be quite a shock for them. I will wait until my presentation is good before telling them. Seeing is believing! Outing yourself early only leads to more stress and more confrontation.

7) Am I prepared to lose my home, job, or life savings? Yes. And I’ve lost a lot over the years with illness, divorce and just starting over again. My transition will be the single most important thing I will ever do in my lifetime. It’s more important than my life savings, 401K, home, car, job, anything. It should be for most people.

The harsh reality is you may lose everything and still not achieve your goals. Some things we control, others we do not. Are you willing to take that chance?