Polish and being pampered

Oh my what a fantastic feeling that was, still all tingling.

I just had a body and facial done which left me with the impression that I shall return again. All my nails are beautiful, toes in pink (favorite color) and fingers in clear since I am still not completely out but hey a girl needs her manicure right? So who will see my toes, well whoever shall me looking at them Friday or Saturday night while I am out with the ladies, who will be protecting me from any strange fellows wondering over to us.
This will be my first outside appearance as myself, oh my and I am frightened, not from the public but inside me because I have been Shawn for so many years, now I will be Shauna. I so look forward to the day when I write you girls when I have completely transitioned over, that will be my happiest moment when I can walk down the street in my pretty sandals and summer dress with no worries of being beaten up or laughed at.But for now, little by little I will push my door open and let the world see a glimsp of Shauna (myself).It’s amazing the girl put 4 coats of polish on jeez, I have always put two but not four. My toes are really pretty especially in my open toe sandals and of all things haha, it is supposed to snow here ( why does this seem to happen when I get to go out).
Tomorrow I have to take 5 pairs of shoes back because they were to big, I thought my feet were a 13 in womans but it turns out to be a 12 which have opened the door to more shoes lol. I also found out that I am a size 18, not a 22 as I thought I was because the pokadot dress was a 22-24. And that too have opened many outfits up for me.
The losing weight helps, as I get to my goal I will probally be in a 12 which is slim and in ultra low rise jeans, I love how they look and face it girls I have a wonderful tush that I want to show off hehe. I’m sorry for that, I love how my bottom does fill out jeans and leggings too. I have many outfits with leggings which I look forward to wearing.
So anyway I got side tracked again, so where was I, oh stepping outside. I am in the process of locating a transgender therapist so I can deal with my mood swings and depression, I am so sad sometimes that it leaves me in a very bad state. I crawl into a corner and bawl my eyes out till I feel better and then I can deal with the world again. I am tired of this, a therapist can work with me on the mood swings and make suggestions on why or what is causing it. I know what is causing it but I can’t stop it, I want to be free and that isn’t going to happen over night.

So someone other than you girls to listen to my boohoo’s and slap me around a bit to wake me up ;) Gawd my toes are so pretty hehe, can not help it sorry. I also found my sweet Shauna voice, much better that I talk that way, but I have much to learn, how to emphasize words and remember to be Shauna at all times. My skin is so soft and silky, that dress will look fantastic and I will have pictures I promise, after the girls unsnag me from the car and leave fingernail grooves in the walls into the place. ;) I owe so much to each one of you for encouranging me to move forward, and I have adopted you all as my sisters because we all are the same aren’t we?I have to give credit in some of you ladies, Christina and Sally how in heaven you balance in them shoes will always make me wonder. The height kills me, I love shoes and I figure with a 5’8" 1/2 height I can wear any heel over 3 inches but damn, they hurt too, actually when I fall down it hurts haha. Snagging stockings can make me cry, haha.

So there you have it, another day of Shauna and pampering. If you ever get the chance to have it done do it, I have pretty toes and my body is soft and silky like it should always be. I would like to hear you girls are attempting this as well, just try it trust me you’ll love me for it. As always thank you for being here for me, it helps releasing some of my emotional strain and share my days with you.

Oh and a word of advice, when you wear fishnet panty hose, be sure they are your size because when you bend over in inproper size, the fishnet becomes a massive hole ;) I guess I can use it for a fishing net now.

Till next time, have a wonderful weekend and Happy Easter to you and your families....I love you all so much.
Shauna