A huge step in the right direction

Well its official, I lost the house I have totally rebuilt. I purchased the house for 110000 and invested another $60000 into it over 9 years. Now Freddie Mac owns it, I don't blame them because jobs are scarce. So I packed everything I wanted and sold what I really didn't want to carry. Sofa and love seat, coffee table (wood) bedroom suite consisting of 5 pieces. Treadmill, and so much more just so I didn't carry it. Also all my dishes, glasses, pots and pans whatever was there is gone.

Where did I go from there, drove 728 miles east to Virginia where my brother and wife said I can start over.

Starting over which is described as I progress with work, then I can continue my transition it has been 17 months since I had my last estrogen pill. The shots haven't started here yet but I am due for one. I will plan that this week. So now I am settled somewhat, new house, new rules and a bed to lay my head.

My brother LB, brought me to a junkyard that had a tire and rim (needed a spare tire) and it cost $100 after we returned home we were talking and decided I will buy the other tires which are in better shape than the ones on my truck each would be $35, looking them up they are worth $188 each so all in all a great deal. The truck they took the wheels off was T-boned in an accident. Hardly ever used and has the rubber nipples still on them.

My brother, his wife Faith and I went to Ocean City for the labor day weekend, the beach was stunning and the water was ice cold. Did get to see some dolphin's swimming which was truly breathtaking. Everything is tanned as it should be and the only place burnt was my forehead, aloe will correct that. Didn't remove my shirt, even though I was in male mode, my breasts are quite noticeable and didn't want to be embarrassed.

So tomorrow I will continue to look for work, it looks promising really just need to have strength and faith, someone will want me soon.

I will be updating this blog now that I am settled.

Happy Labor day everyone.

P.S.

Am a little homesick, but since I have no home now I will get over it.

Losing it all

Transition was going to make me happy but as it is my transition has been put on hold again the fourth time. Is this gods way of telling me something or am I reading into this too much?

I am one of the less fortunate people in the US that hasn't found any work, I have applied everywhere and have had people come back saying I am over qualified or my qualifications don't meet up with what they are searching for. I haven't been able to pay my mortgage since January so now I am in a battle with Citi mortgage over a foreclosure, I want to keep my house but I am not working so they want it but where do I live then if I am not working? I guess I can sleep in my pickup but it isn't like the old days where I could sleep in my car and no one would know it. The options are slim, I keep hoping and praying that someone gives me work, anything just so I pay my bills.

So that is where I am today, not so happy anymore and depression sure takes alot out of a person who is struggling with life. Someday I will be whole but not today and surely not until I am working again.

So to everyone who reads this, I will be back one day with wonderful news of how I began my life over again. Until then I may post one last time and it will be awhile before I post again but I will be back.

Love all of you and keep smiling because that is my sunshine when I have gray days like today.