Living as I am, not the gender

I don't think I ever considered my gender to be a problem, I was neither boy nor girl so if asked, I was just me. To put a title on a person who is born with both genitals is like asking if a car that is two tone is black or white.

Lately I have been reading a lot of new blogs concerning children with issues just like us, a little girl age of three stating she is a boy or a boy similar age saying he is a girl. It is truly amazing over the last decade how more and more trans people are coming out not like while I was growing up with no knowledge or groups whom I could socialize with to learn how to cope with my issue.

I wish sometimes I was trans, I believe it would be easier in many ways and this constant reminder each month reminds me I am truly different than anyone I have ever met. A male friend of mine and I were talking which I said I needed to put on my estrogen patch so not to cause any indifference in my body chemistry and he couldn't understand that if I don't maintain the estrogen that I could get awful ill again. So I simply explained it to him, which he finally grasped what I was telling him. My body isn't producing it as much as it used to so I have patches and booster shots maintaining the constant estrogen my female side needs. The problem I am having with the patches is I am allergic to the adhesive which causes a rash. So I cut the glue off and attach a bandage instead which stopped the rashes. The things I do to be just normal everyday is amazing.

These days I have to question myself when applying for work, the last thing the employer asks is whether I am a male or female or (not answer at all), which I often do because I can not answer honestly with their question. I don't think I am wrong or being difficult it is just the wording that is bad. There should be something there besides male and female but that will have to wait when society accepts that there are different genders other than the two common ones. Its not sex its gender, 89% female and 11% male how would you answer such a stupid question?

I want to say good luck with your operation Véronique, (my sis) I do love and care about you more than you know. Whether you had the surgery or not, you have always been a woman to me.

So whats new, the holidays were wonderful though I was totally broke but that didn't effect anyone's joy. My coming out 2 years ago stopped my father from calling me sis, never hear it anymore and you know what, I am glad too. He has on occasion made statements like she is here, or there she is (me) which makes me smile. Whether he is doing it as a joke or not, it makes me happy that he actually acknowledges it.

Time for me to go look for more work, wish someone would hire me even just contracting so I have a reason to get out of bed.

If this is like retirement, I never want to retire.

I need a eye lift, not enough sleep

I read 1000+ blogs a week trying to help all that is distress other than myself, I found a site tonight that posted not only my site but everyone I know and much more.

The link is http://t-central.blogspot.com/ A comprehensive listing of Trans-Related Bloggers and News Sites.

Omg that is one lengthily site of sites, now I will never sleep. There are way too many people in dire need of my words and shoulder to cry on, better get me a bigger towel to wipe the tears for them.
I also read the queer news, the LGBT for teens, Chocolate blog, makeup and styles blogs, omg shoes blogs, which leaves me with technology as well. So you see I am a very busy person who really needs to shuck off my wings soon, or put back on my special jacket with the tying sleeves.

As I end this little tid bit of a post, I just would like to say to each of you. Life is a journey for all of us, and in it's path we have detours and hazards that only we can bring us back to that path, I believe in adventure that is how I got here today and began sharing some really incredible stories to each and everyone of you.

You see my journey will end one day, but I will come back and help who ever needs me to get them back on track.

Live life to it's fullest and don't look back, we are here for a reason so have fun. That is all I ask of you.

Good night

Did you see him??

I believe I am the first to post my male photo on a blog, what harm is it and why should I hide such a wonderful man. He has done so much for people and for me as well, he kept me from harms way and he continues to do so without my asking. Gentle and kind is the best I can describe of him, hard headed at times but he will give you the shirt off his back in the dead of winter so you won't be cold.
He has a good heart, never to say no to anyone that is in need that is why he is such a wonderful man.

Yes he is my male soul and I love him so much, and I am not embarrassed or afraid of what people will say to us if they see our photos. I am liberated to share my personal thoughts and myself who wishes to know, I have nothing to hide anymore!


Today I completed the update on the website OPALGA which I volunteered to do because I didn't know much of how to do it but it still was something I wanted to learn, and you know what I became their webmistress, I like the sound of that title. Volunteering for things that are important is something I do best. Next week Monday, I will be sharing my coming out to the LGBT youths of Oak Park, Illinois.

I was asked by the teens if I would and I said yes of course. To describe my adventure of the years gone by will be my biggest challenge besides living and I am just finding out what that really means lately.

As I look into my future I have big plans for myself, SRS and scalp reduction are two of them but the body modifications I wish to have will also bring out the beauty in me. Not saying much because with everything there is a price and I have to discuss it with Shawn and the doctor first.

Also I am seeking a career change, I want to teach since I am really good with children and teens I believe I can help make a difference in this world. If I could teach them computers that would be fantastic but if it were another subject such as history or English I would like to do that too.

So when you see the two of us on a site or you see either of us on the street, say hello, Shawn loves to talk and I love to listen. So here is to us, trying to help all that we can along the road of our journey.

Thank you for stopping by.....

My America

This is why I am so proud of serving in the US Navy, these videos had tears streaming down my cheeks.





I know we can join as a union hand in hand, the ignorance and bigotry just need to be educated. I have seen so much despair in this world, poverty, children without parents and famine these nasty heartfelt sorrows were corrected in ways that had given me hope. This place I call home I believe in my heart can also be fixed. With education, it is the only way. We need to stand together as brother, sister, mother, father, friends, family forever and always.





Stop the fighting, the prejudice, the ignorance, the poverty and begin helping and loving thy neighbor that is all I ever ask for in my prayers.



See we can make a difference, stand together and be Americans.