Maybe an angel.....

At the cancer center, I seen many there starting their first treatments, overhearing the questions being asked knowing the answer to something that 6 months ago I wouldn't have a clue.

It saddens me because I don't not like to see despair of any kind and knowing what I know in the stage that I was in I offer advice, its free and I believe I can save lives.

When you feel like giving up, DON"T, if you love life now make it a point to stay positive, call me and I will hold your hand. Being strong willed will make the journey easier.

Radiation burns, chemo makes you ill but fighting prevents the disease of winning.

At times you will not want to eat, eat anyhow, if you get sick you will at least get some vitamins from it.

I explained I received 43 sessions of radiation in my chest and neck area which caused burning but it killed the spread and 9 sessions of chemo that finally terminated the tumor. Lost bone that housed a major nerve, the tumor had destroyed the area.

Five and half months have passed, there is no sign of the tumor, no traces of cancer, the surgery that was spoken of erased, the bone has healed itself. Miracle child maybe, I had a will and that was to show the world I wanted to live.

Nothing in life that you want is easy, we all fight daily for it. Fighting for your life is a huge goal but the rewards are truly more precious than anything I could describe.

If you NEED me, let me hold you hand, I will fight the fight with you. In my heart and mind, there is no such thing as giving up. We can beat this together, I swear :)

God knows I am not a savior but I do try to help!!

xxxooo

shaunabaggtt@gmail.com

I need a eye lift, not enough sleep

I read 1000+ blogs a week trying to help all that is distress other than myself, I found a site tonight that posted not only my site but everyone I know and much more.

The link is http://t-central.blogspot.com/ A comprehensive listing of Trans-Related Bloggers and News Sites.

Omg that is one lengthily site of sites, now I will never sleep. There are way too many people in dire need of my words and shoulder to cry on, better get me a bigger towel to wipe the tears for them.
I also read the queer news, the LGBT for teens, Chocolate blog, makeup and styles blogs, omg shoes blogs, which leaves me with technology as well. So you see I am a very busy person who really needs to shuck off my wings soon, or put back on my special jacket with the tying sleeves.

As I end this little tid bit of a post, I just would like to say to each of you. Life is a journey for all of us, and in it's path we have detours and hazards that only we can bring us back to that path, I believe in adventure that is how I got here today and began sharing some really incredible stories to each and everyone of you.

You see my journey will end one day, but I will come back and help who ever needs me to get them back on track.

Live life to it's fullest and don't look back, we are here for a reason so have fun. That is all I ask of you.

Good night

Can I give you a Hug?

I clearly didn't know what the outcome would be, but it wasn't numbers, I wanted to share myself with you because we all need to love again.

Have I touched your soul, was it a hug, was it mere words maybe laughter? I love making people feel good, bring a little happiness into their lives. Listen to them and give a little support that is all I ever do because I found a little piece of my own happiness being a wonderful friend. God what a wonderful gift I can give.

I do have one question, will this end? As I am watching the clock of health I wonder if my time is almost up, I sure hope not, my job isn't completed yet the world is still in turmoil and many others need someone like myself to bring them out of it. So is my time up?

I was sent a video this morning from the head conseil for (OII) http://www.intersexualite.org/Index.html, Curtis is a wonderful person who like me cares so much for people. While viewing it the emotional roller coaster began, the tears didn't stop flowing even after the video stopped because really all you ever need is a hug, the world will feel better again.

So here is the video to all of you and a hug from me.



As long as people know I care and am here for them, I will live in your hearts forever, one hug, one smile all the happiness I can give. I am extremely grateful for finding love and emotional happiness with all my friends everywhere, and all the new friends I will meet whether here or there.

Thank you for letting me share.....

Part Two - The journey

When I reached the age of 14, I finally did find my mom, she was married to some idiot that didn’t like teens, especially a teen like me, if he had known I was part girl my life would have been a living hell. I was there for a few months and low and behold my father threaten her if I wasn’t returned, she would be thrown in jail so I gave myself up. Why Dad, why do I have to go back to you, why? I planned and saved to run away again, this time I wouldn’t go with my mother, this time my father wouldn’t find me and this time would be the last time I would ever return to his house. I bought a car, paid the examiner off from the DOT so I could drive and slept in my car. Thank god it was during the summer.
I finally went to my mom, and she let me into her life, that was my happiest moment of my life.
She provided the school with a letter to explain that I wasn't to attend gym class and shower with the boys. My mother showed me things about who I was and told me it would be my decision on what I would become but remember this was the seventies, the gender issues weren’t out yet. I learned about myself, how to cook, to sew and make clothes. How to coordinate colors, she should me makeup and asked if I preferred girls or boys, which I said girls of course. My mother was my mentor, my best friend and my Mother. She let me dress as I pleased, wore my hair long and basically was her daughter which I wished often she would see me now instead of in spirit.
As I turned to 17, my father thought it was best that I enlist in the Navy which sounded like he was trying to get rid of me and he did after I joined. While I was away, the thoughts of being the girl I was I had to hide and only because of fear of getting beat up or the unmistakable being raped. I was home from the Navy, and my mentor the one who understood me, the best friend and the person I called Mom was dying from cancer something I couldn’t help change it just watch idly by and pray she would get better. Mom said she would give me the greatest gift for my birthday (I would be 22 years old) and she did, after watching her fight cancer for eighteen months my mother died six days before my birthday – that was my present.
I lost someone who knew me, knew about what kind of person I was, that I was born with a rare gender disorder. I was dating a girl back then who knew of my special side and enjoyed it as well. My hair was long and so pretty, no facial hair and I was 23 years old. She said my chest was baby fat and would someday go away, she was so wrong. How many guys would cuddle and share emotions like I did, she loved that in me. She would dress me up with makeup on a Halloween, only to realize that she was dating a real girl in a males form. I transformed into a girl within minutes before her eyes, I walked and talked naturally, and had many men think I was a young lady that evening. After that night our relationship changed, I was her girl friend not her boy friend and we ended our relationship while I was away taking care of personal business, she ended up with a real male.
She broke my heart because I thought we had a special relationship, but she shunned me away. So I went into a depression that brought be to see a therapist, I finally cried for my mothers death and for losing my girlfriend for being different, which was pointed that I was unique. I was different than other males but I was special and I wouldn't know this until my reenlisted back in the Navy a year later.