Whats the Big Deal?

Why is it such a big deal of coming out?

I am my own person that would love the support of family and friends but if they aren't in tune then I will look like some type of fagot that wishes to wear womens clothes.

Coming out to my step mother was the hardest things I have ever done, the cold stone look she gave me was the type of look that makes people stay in the closet.

I will never forget it nor what she said when she did it. Why can't you just be gay, I don't want you parading around my work with your dress on.


??? What, have I already done this?

For over thirty five years I have worn female clothes, no one said a thing, even my ex's never said one word. Every pair of jeans, tops and underwear are female.

I made the bold statement, I am out of the closet and I am perceived as a fairy wearing womens clothes.

Who are you to judge me?

I am the same person you knew a minute ago yet the wrapper changed so that changed me?

I will tell you, it doesn't matter what you say or how you judge me. I am happy to be alive and where I can make the decision to make things right no matter the costs or who's heart I break.

It took almost a year for my stepmother to accept me, I would have cared less because I don't live my life for others.

Accept me for who I am not how I dress, or what I look like. I am a human, a person with deep feelings for others, listening is what I do best because I do care.

Everyday since I was eleven I have struggled with not being 100% female, 78% doesn't cut it because now as I sit typing this out I try to make things right. Some say I am lucky to be female inside, that it makes it easier to transition but they are so wrong. I have to be watched over medically for many diseases that women face.

Transitioning is the same for all of us, some have the funding which makes it easier, others are like me where a little goes a long way but all in all, we are the same.

So don't let others judge you because you are who you are, lets face it, everyone is different because they just are. My stepmother has struggled with her weight since I was 12 years old, she has the body of a pear but I don't make remarks about her and believe me I could come up with some really great fat jokes.

Just live your lives the way you intended to, and if someone snickers or makes remarks, ignore them.

Life is too short to hide someone so sweet.

Sisters

I often wonder what it would have been like to have grown up with a sister around my age, I am much older than my sister she is 34 and I am 48 so there is a large amount of time between us. As we have gotten older we have bonded like so many others and when I announced I was transitioning we grew very close together. She accepted me 100% and she was the first one I came out to. She is very open and doesn't judge anyone about who they are, I wish more people were like her.

This morning I chose to drive my step mom, my nieces and sister to the airport on their way to Mall of America in Minnesota for a shopping trip for the girls, see it is times like that I wish I could be a part of. So as my sister and I were standing by her van I had noticed it was filthy of salt and road residue. I asked her why haven't you cleaned this van it would be safer with clean windows, which she replied why don't I wash it in my bikini and we laughed at that image plus to do that in front of my dad would be priceless.

With my weight being up and all I wouldn't be out there in a one piece let alone a bikini. Besides with the scar on my tummy, it looks like I had a c section so bikinis are out for me, but a girl can dream.

One thing I love to do is shop, no matter what it is, I try to find a bargain and try on anything especially shoes. See my sister and I have that in common, we both love shoes. She has more pairs than I, believe it or not, but we have that love for shoes. My sister is adorable, very classy lady which shines all the time even after two children she still looks fantastic. She takes good care of herself as well as her family.

So someday I will be able to shop with her, go for manicures and pedicures, do the things ladies do when they socialize and when that day comes I will shine too.

Get out your sun glasses, don't want to blind no one :-)

Position on teaching teens

I had applied for a teaching position and the vibes were fantastic, it would have been part time but it was like a dream come true job. I love teaching people who want to learn. But as faith has it this is what happened.

Thank you, first, for you patience while we met with the different candidates and mulled over the skills and qualifications to best suit the needs of the program.
We had it narrowed down to you and one other candidate as you both posses such strong qualities. We have decided to extend the position to the other candidate mostly because of his experience working with teens in that specific community and in a school district.

I want you to know that this wasn't an easy decision because of your extensive technological experience, your pleasant demeanor and excellent references. But ultimately we had to take into consideration the classroom environment for this particular program, and go from there.

I believe we told you that we are expanding and will be adding more new programs most likely within the year. Each program and each location has its own set of characteristics that affect our hiring. It is for this reason, that I would like to ask your permission to contact you again when we have a new position open up and see if it's something you would be interested in at that time. I think you have a lot to offer a program and the youth and I believe we will have a program that can work for you.

It's your call, of course.
Please know how much we appreciate your time and experience.
Thank you Shawn.

I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,

Ginny

Follow up letter:

It was so close and required a lot of back and forth discussion.
I really appreciate your energy and what you have to offer and can see a time where you will be more in line with a particular program.
Thank you for allowing me to call you as things progress.
Have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Ginny

I have a feeling I will get work long after I lose my house.