The wonderful world of gender and labels

I was asked today to join a web site that caters to TRANNYS, now as you all know that isn't what I am. Each of us have our own label or title but as an Intersex where do I fit in? I did the registration and low and behold I am an other.

I will always be an other because society has no category for us and I understand that, with the different types involved Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (cah),Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (ais), 5-alpha Reductase Deficiency, Klinefelter’s Syndrome, Turner Syndrome, Mosaicism just to name a few.

I do get a kick out of someone trying to categorize me in the tranny community, though I try to educate them just how far I am along in my transition than that of a typical MTF. How many different types of gender are there really, every week I hear of a new label but the genders are the same either your male or female there is no in between.

We as humans should get along with each other but that will not happen in my future only the animals get along with each other and they have no labels.

Random Thoughts of transitioning......

So overwhelming seeing all the trans people I read about or see on a daily basis, never thought I would see the day we all come out and unite.

Whether MTF, FTM or people like myself that are coming out in droves. The FFS, altering their faces to match their gender, or SRS (GRS) also to match their genders. Hormones alter our bodies dramatically some to the point of never returning to the original state even if they stop taking them.

I believe in my opinion, it is easier for a FTM to pass in many ways. There are cute men in society that the FTM would fit with none or little problems. Binding I had to fit in the male world. Where as MTF if you don't have feminine qualities or in your early thirties, passing will be tremendously harder than most.

Children have the medicine now to alter their gender, with testosterone blockers and testosterone shots given at an early age, stops the binary changes in puberty. The parents are now more understanding too, where we had to hide they are more expressive.

I would say 85% of my friends have had or about to have their surgeries that has completed that portion of their journey though the journey never really ends.

My surgery will not be completed as I thought it would, financially it is impossible but I still hold the brass ring which I will achieve this impossible dream because I do not believe in giving up on something I have waited my whole life for.

My life began as a caterpillar where the actual insect eats, my life absorbed knowledge as I grew and shed my skin many times to make me a stronger caterpillar. It is the only way I can explain how I began, inching my way in life enriching myself with the people I have met and the journeys I have chose for the path I was on though the last path was disastrous that brought this to an end.
During that period of my life I entered the chrysalis stage before I knew it the butterfly emerged, Oh she became the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen.

When it happen I can not tell you, how it happen I can not say, but now that it had I stretch my wings, flap them a few times and started my flight, I am on a long trip and may slow down with wind and hazards in front of me but I will complete this journey however long it takes.

It must feel strange and yet so exciting to look down in the shower at once was a tail, without the lump only smoothness when you wear your lingerie. No tucking or feeling uncomfortable whilst you bend over getting the pinching effect.

I can honestly say that I had no problems with any of that, tucking began a habit since childhood and as I grew older the tail was just that, a tail.
It will be wonderful for me to be complete, having the VJJ and my uterus together I will then be complete. Though I will not be able to have children like I had wanted since I was sterile at birth.

Surgery will not make me female, I am already that, what it will do is complete what natural failed to do and I am thankful medicine and science has given us that.

Nikki, Chloe, Rebecca, Suzanne, and now Véronique have achieved that part of their journey and it must feel wonderful. There are many others whom I know of that too have achieved that part in their journey and I would mention but I will be here all day.

My point is, if you have a DREAM IT CAN BE FULFILLED IF YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT IT. Do not make excuses why you can not have it.

FTM, the testosterone shots help achieve the male pattern that so many MTF wish to let go. The upper surgery is the easy part as I have been told, its the bottom surgery that is the hardest and with science hopefully they will be able to make a penis in the near future (that will be quite a long line).

So I am quite happy and jealous of my girl friends that have lost their tails but one day I will be able to look back at this and smile because I too will lose my ugly tail.


No my journey does not end after surgery, it only proceeds forward for I have much to complete til the end when I lay in that box at the end of my path.

Living as I am, not the gender

I don't think I ever considered my gender to be a problem, I was neither boy nor girl so if asked, I was just me. To put a title on a person who is born with both genitals is like asking if a car that is two tone is black or white.

Lately I have been reading a lot of new blogs concerning children with issues just like us, a little girl age of three stating she is a boy or a boy similar age saying he is a girl. It is truly amazing over the last decade how more and more trans people are coming out not like while I was growing up with no knowledge or groups whom I could socialize with to learn how to cope with my issue.

I wish sometimes I was trans, I believe it would be easier in many ways and this constant reminder each month reminds me I am truly different than anyone I have ever met. A male friend of mine and I were talking which I said I needed to put on my estrogen patch so not to cause any indifference in my body chemistry and he couldn't understand that if I don't maintain the estrogen that I could get awful ill again. So I simply explained it to him, which he finally grasped what I was telling him. My body isn't producing it as much as it used to so I have patches and booster shots maintaining the constant estrogen my female side needs. The problem I am having with the patches is I am allergic to the adhesive which causes a rash. So I cut the glue off and attach a bandage instead which stopped the rashes. The things I do to be just normal everyday is amazing.

These days I have to question myself when applying for work, the last thing the employer asks is whether I am a male or female or (not answer at all), which I often do because I can not answer honestly with their question. I don't think I am wrong or being difficult it is just the wording that is bad. There should be something there besides male and female but that will have to wait when society accepts that there are different genders other than the two common ones. Its not sex its gender, 89% female and 11% male how would you answer such a stupid question?

I want to say good luck with your operation Véronique, (my sis) I do love and care about you more than you know. Whether you had the surgery or not, you have always been a woman to me.

So whats new, the holidays were wonderful though I was totally broke but that didn't effect anyone's joy. My coming out 2 years ago stopped my father from calling me sis, never hear it anymore and you know what, I am glad too. He has on occasion made statements like she is here, or there she is (me) which makes me smile. Whether he is doing it as a joke or not, it makes me happy that he actually acknowledges it.

Time for me to go look for more work, wish someone would hire me even just contracting so I have a reason to get out of bed.

If this is like retirement, I never want to retire.

I have wrriten about many things

So with that said here is something that means more to me than my transition, it is who protects us so we may transition safely.



Thank you all who is still serving....